New Faith, Provision, and an IVF Miracle
My husband and I met 15 years ago. We had a strong relationship from the start, with the typical couple arguments and disagreements that we thought were so important back then, but little did I know that we were about to endure our biggest test yet. All the problems or issues we had at the beginning were nothing compared to what was coming next. Well, it all began about 5 years ago. My husband and I were about to celebrate our 1 year anniversary, and I remember our beautiful companion, a brindle boxer named Roxy, who lived with us for 10 years, had just passed away. I remember, we were waiting on the drive thru line at Walgreen's to pick up my birth control refill. The line was long and we had been waiting a while. Frustrated with the wait, as he always is, my husband said "let's not get the pills". Shocked, I asked him why, and he said
Part of me was concerned that he just wanted to have a baby because he didn't want to wait for pills, lol. But I didn't care. This was the best thing he could have told me...because I was ready! I had been ready for a while, but you know, life and other priorities just get in the way. We had been together 9 years the day we got married, we decided to go to school, buy a house, start a business and put starting a family on hold. But that day was the day that we decided we were both ready, finally!! Everyone around us was starting theirs, so it was the perfect time. I remember getting off birth control in January and allowing my body to “clean itself out” for 1 month. My plan was...get pregnant in March (our anniversary) and have the baby by Christmas. It was my perfect plan. See, I’m a huge planner. Not with everything, but I do like to plan big life events. So March came around, and we didn’t get pregnant, so did April and we weren't pregnant, so did May, and June and July...well you get the picture. By October, I began to worry. Made an appointment with the OBGYN who reassured me everything was fine and that it takes couples a year to get pregnant. But, I was not buying it. Deep down inside I knew something was wrong. So I made an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist, and underwent all the testing. By this time it was January...a year later, and then, it was March by the time we got all the results.
But...Before I go any further, I want to give you some background information on our spirituality, or better said, lack there of. Before trying to have a child, we didn’t have faith or follow any religion or even believe in God. I used to think that the bible was just a story. I was raised catholic, but somewhere in my young adult life...I decided it was not for me and stopped believing. I tried reading the bible once and closed it after the first page of Genesis, thinking it was ridiculous. God, however, had a different plan for us. I always heard people talk about the test of faith, thinking, it was just an excuse for bad things that happen. Yet, you can’t understand what it’s all about until it happens to you. I'm I right?!
So back to our results, we were told, very casually but the doctor that we would not be able to get pregnant the conventional way. That we would need insemination or worse IVF. I stopped listening after insemination. I can see my husband’s face starting to turn red with rage. He didn’t want to believe as much as I did that we had a problem. My heart was breaking in the doctor’s office, It took all the strength I had to hold back my tears. I was heart broken because we were just told that it was not going to happen in the intimate way that it happens for everyone else, or worse, that it may not happen at all. I had PCOS and my husband had low morphology, not a good combination...very crappy odds!
The doctor's plan (again...he told us very casually) was 3 insemination's at $800 each plus medication, and if they didn’t work then IVF. Well, that was the doctors plan, but deep inside I was not on board. Besides...Remember, I stopped listening at insemination. But we went along with it, I was tired of waiting and I wanted my baby. After massive doses of Clomid, because I didn't respond well, estrogen patches and 2 failed insemination's, I had enough. At this point, I could not help but be depressed and angry (and crazy from all the hormones). It had then been 1.5 years since my plan had disintegrated. I guess we would call this my lowest point. We didn't have the funds for IVF and regardless I didn't want to have an IVF baby. I remember asking a friend that had trouble getting pregnant for advice, little did I know that the advice she was going to give me was going to lead me to the place I had abandoned... faith. God used the lowest point in my life to get my attention, they say when you are down only place to look is up, and its so true! She just told me to pray. That simple, to just pray.
At the time I thought that by praying, a quick miracle was going to happen. That I could pray and take a pregnancy test and that easily it was going to be positive. Little did I know. Like Cinderella said “even miracles take a little time”. Through this process we learned that God is a very powerful force. He provided us with great peace. He planted a seed in my heart that gave me tremendous hope. I knew that I was going to be a Mom, I didn’t know when or how, but I knew it was going to happen. For about 3 years, my husband and I continued to pray and thank God everyday, for all the blessings we had. Although our arms were empty, and every month that passed I cried, we took time to notice all the other ways he was blessing us daily. Through prayer, he guided us to the right doctors, the right treatment and provided us with a network of support of loving family and friends that prayed for us as well.
July 2014, we went to see a new doctor, she ran new tests and found that I had an autoimmune problem that was impeding pregnancy. She recommended the one treatment I feared the most...IVF. We were avoiding IVF since the journey began and here was that word again...IVF. One major reason we dreaded it was the cost, but also because IVF is the last treatment option available. If in-vitro doesn’t work, then we are left with no other treatments and childless. All these thoughts were going through my mind. What if it doesn’t work? How are we going to pay for it? What are the side effects of the medications? Will the baby have a higher risk of birth defects? And on and on. Yet, in the midst of all the confusion and fear, God provided me with complete calmness, He spoke to my spirit and told me to leave it up to Him. So that very moment, I handed my situation to God and asked Him to take over. I let Him figure it all out and I knew it was all going to work out in the end. We decided to go through with IVF in October that year. We quickly began working overtime, selling everything we owned, including our dining set. Little by little the money seemed to multiply. We got unexpected bonuses, donations of valuable items that we were able to sell. Needless to say we had applied for a loan, but the day the payment for the treatment was due we had 100% of the funds in the bank and did not require the loan. I’m not saying that all of this happened because of our diligence and hard work, this all came about because God put it in place, He provided us with all of these resources. It was then that I knew, IVF was going to work. I was also bold and confident enough to say that it was going to work the first time. On February 1, 2015, Superbowl Sunday, we drove to the Doctor’s office to have 1 of our 3 embryos implanted. On February 11, 2015, 3 days before Valentine’s day, we got our first ever, positive pregnancy test. And on October 14, 2015, we welcomed to our family, Maya Sofia, our long awaited beautiful miracle.
It took 4 years and 10 months for our miracle to arrive, but she arrived at the perfect time. It was God’s time. This is the way He wanted it for us, and through the journey, pain and struggle we realized that what He wants, is always better that what we want. She is everything we had imagined and prayed for. He answered all of our prayers. It took time and patience, which He was also able to provide. With this struggle we got more than what we had wanted. Not only did we get our baby, but we also got the gift of faith. Everyday I see her beautiful face, I see the love of God.
Lauren here! My eyes are still filled with tears from reading this amazing story of faith, provision, and this beautiful little IVF miracle. I hope this helped renew your faith in not only God's plan for you but also in His provision for you. He will not ask you to do something that He will not provide for or equip you for.
Thanks so much to Karina, whose vulnerability is sure to impact lives by renewing hope and trust in our Heavenly Father.
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