Endometriosis & 1% Chance to Conceive
Ivan and I got married in November of 2010. We were dead set on having babies - we wanted a big family!! So we didn’t waste any time starting to try. We prayed and prayed and tried and tried. After about a year of trying we went to see my OB and started the discussions about our fertility. We took all of the typical tests you take to make sure nothing is “wrong” with you. All came back normal. So we tried for a few more months. Each month when my period came it was horrible and devastating. We went back to the Dr and started on Clomid with no result. October 2012 marked 2 years for us trying to conceive so we were referred to a fertility specialist in Fort Worth. We were convinced this was our only hope.
The appointment at the fertility Dr. was a complete roller coaster. They placed us in a conference room where you were left to read lots of success stories and information on fertility and the options available. Then the doctor comes in and explains all the clinic has to offer and their success rates. Next you go into the examination room…. So, I’m lying on the table, nervous – not knowing what to expect. Doctor asks me to look over at the screen so he can explain what he was seeing. I noticed his earlier expression of excitement to help us had changed. He points to what he says are my ovaries, but all I see is what looks to be a cloudy mess. He explains that he sees a pretty extreme case of endometriosis – basically covering both of my ovaries. He goes on to explain that based on what he sees, there would be a 1% chance that we would ever conceive on our own. But the major blow was when he said only a 3% chance we would be successful with IVF. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I was devastated. I remember sitting in my car – supposed to head back to work. Ivan gave me a hug and a great pep talk. Stating with God all things are possible and that we would work through this. He didn’t tell me until recently that he spent a really long time in his own car on his way back to work feeling the same hopelessness and devastation. The next morning he sent me a text that said “Love, I don’t care what the future holds. You make me whole! I’m happy with you!” I’ve saved it for all of these years and often look back on it. He sent that text to me on October 25th 2012.
The next few days were literally excruciating to get through. The thought that we would never have a family just wouldn’t leave my mind. My lifelong dream of being a mom, I was supposed to just let this go?! How could that possibly be? So naturally because I’m a control freak I began researching adoption. If I couldn’t have my own babies then I would still be a mom. And maybe this is what God intended for me, for us. So there I went, continuing to try to control our future family planning.
We went to church that Sunday. I went down for prayer after the service. I will never, ever forget the sweet lady who prayed with me. Through tears I told her my story, told her my devastating report. I explained how badly I wanted to be a mom, how I just couldn’t believe that this is what God would want for our lives. This lady took my face into her hands, tears and all. And through her own tears she reminded me that God was in control. She gently encouraged me to give control back to God. She told me that I would have a baby in God’s perfect timing. However that was meant to happen. That it wasn’t my timing. It’s always in His. She prayed over me for a few minutes. She never let go of my face, she made sure I was looking into her eyes. And I will just never forget how sure she was – trust in Him; trust in Him – fully.
A few days later, November 9th to be exact. I was sitting on my mom’s couch. We had spent the day together, lunching and shopping. She asked me how I was feeling about everything and I remember feeling a very strange, complete peace. I remember saying to her that I couldn’t explain it, I just knew all would be ok. On the way home I stopped at Walgreens, my period was due any day now and I needed tampons. I decided to also purchase a pregnancy test, just in case. Honestly – I have no idea why. I didn’t think I was pregnant. But something in me said, just in case. At checkout, the clerk must have thought I’d lost my mind, or had no idea how this whole pregnancy thing works. Why would anyone need to buy a box of tampons AND a pregnancy test. Anyway, I avoided eye contact and made my purchase.
Later that afternoon, still no period…I thought I’d just take the test – that way I would see the negative, I would just start my period and finally try to move on an accept the news I’d received. I took the test fully expecting to get the same negative sign I had always gotten. I took the test. I casually walked back into the bathroom 3 minutes later…. And I was shocked to see that it was POSITIVE! I looked again, I thought – no way.. I’m seeing things. Yep – positive. I dropped the test on the floor, my hands were shaking. I couldn’t believe it. 3 tests later, 3 positive results….I was dumb-founded. How did this happen I thought?! But I knew exactly how it happened. He made it happen, in His time. I know now what I was supposed to see in all of this. I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t hearing Him. I wasn’t trusting in Him.
I spent the next several hours waiting for Ivan to come home from work to tell him our news. Of course he had to work late and thought I was crazy constantly asking when he was coming home.. I went to BuyBuy baby and walked the aisles for quite a while looking for the perfect gift to wrap up and surprise him with. I found the perfect Onesie…it said “me and daddy think mommy is the best.” I thought it was perfect! I wrapped it up and put the pregnancy test inside – I’ll never forget his confused look and his eyes filling with tears when he realized what I was trying to tell him. He was in complete shock!
We went to our first baby appointment to hear our baby's heart beat and my doctor could find absolutely NO trace of the endometriosis that was seen just a couple weeks before. It was GONE - and I haven't had any issues or signs of it since.
In July of 2013, our most perfect baby girl was born, Stella. The icing on the cake, seven months later--yes you read that right, 7 months later -- in February I found out we were pregnant again with our most perfect baby boy Ethan who was born October 2014. They are 15 short months apart!
To those of you who are struggling with fertility, who have received that same or similar bad report from your doctor, don’t lose hope. Even though it may seem impossible and unbearable right now, He’s got you and your future family in His hands. That doctor told us we would never have a baby on October 25th and I received my positive test 16 days later.
God is in control, in all things - nothing in our lives is on our timeline.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Mark 11:24-“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
I'm so grateful to Kristin for sharing her story. If you have been diagnosed with endometriosis, this is a story that provides hope for you!! If you begin feeling hopeless, come back and re-read this. Feel free to Pin her story or email yourself so you can read this anytime you need a reminder of hope and a boost of faith.
Have hope!! There are great things in store for your future!!