Loss of Life, Whispers from God, & Seeds for Harvest
- Flor Zuniga -
The two greatest miracles in my life are my two sons ! I'll start at the beginning. My husband and I were married in 2005, and since my teenage years, I was aware I had an ongoing issue with my menstrual cycle. I never did anything about it because I was young and didn't care, however after being married and wanting to start a family, I began to see a doctor for this. I was told I did not ovulate and therefore it would be nearly impossible to conceive on our own, so I was put on a medicine to induce ovulation.
To make my story short, we conceived twice in 2008 (first was an empty sac and second was a little girl who came at only 15 weeks gestation and sadly passed due to extreme prematurity). Years went by and we couldn't manage to conceive, even with the treatment. It was then that we decided we needed to make changes.
We began to seek God more and more and began to do things differently. We conceived a baby boy in 2013 who also arrived much too early, 16 weeks, and passed within minutes. We were devastated and crushed but we pressed on.
With each loss, I saw God's love for me more and more. There was a point where I was so angry for what I was going through, that I didn't want to praise, pray or anything, and it was a futile attempt at me being angry with God. Just like the prophet Elijah, I heard God in the gentle whisper. He would tell me He did love me, and that my children were seeds for a great harvest.
We tried again that year and managed to get pregnant but our little girl died at 9 weeks in utero. The doctors had no explanation and once again I was crushed and wanted to even end my life to end my misery, but God always steps in, and with each loss I saw His love flood my life more and more. We prayed and fasted and decided to try again. Just like the widow who nagged the evil king for her due, we nagged and insisted on being parents. God allowed us to conceive a 5th time- a little boy.
We spoke with our medical team and I was taken out of work to be put on modified bed rest and was also given a cervical stitch (known as a cerclage) and despite all that, at 18 weeks the doctors feared my son would be born because my cervix was at its end and they weren't sure it would hold the baby. I'm happy to say that God did what seemed impossible because with nearly an open cervix, my son made it! And I ended up being induced after the stitch was removed because my cervix wouldn't dilate! God is just so good!!
We didn't plan on using any birth control since we had such a hard time conceiving, and at my annual checkup, we discovered I was pregnant again (our son was 4-1/2 months old!). Praise God my cervix did a much better job the second time around and we now have our two gorgeous boys- Elijah Emanuel and Matthew Alexander.
I love sharing my testimony because we have seen God's mighty hand.. There's so much more to both their birth stories but it's just too long. From me almost dying after having our first son, to our second son having a scary ultrasound where they saw things missing and not being formed properly! We are God's sons and daughters, and when we appropriate ourselves with that fact and stand firm on God's promises, He moves in our favor in accordance with our faith.
While I did not understand at the moment the reason for the pain, I now can look back and see how great my faith has grown and how many people God has allowed me to meet and be a comfort to through my experience. It made me appreciate the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross all the more, because God too has lost a son, and He was rejected and despised. It's made me hurt for those who turn away from the truth and the love of Jesus.
I pray someone will be inspired by our story and not give up.
Lauren here! Um... is this not the most adorable family? What an amazing story and testimony of God's faithfulness!! He was there with them during their many losses, whispering His love to them.
I want to flood you with stories of women who have experienced loss but have not given up on God. Why? Because we don't want to leave anyone behind in this muck. We want to remind you that God is good. He is faithful. He will not let you down. It's the enemy that comes to steal kill and destroy! Remember what Christ does though? He offers you a full and abundant life! He's your Healer and Redeemer!
If you have experienced miscarriage or infant loss- I'm so so sorry. What you have lost is precious and important. Don't give up on our Heavenly Father. He hears every cry and He catches every tear!
I pray you become extremely fruitful!
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