He Never Forsakes Those Who Seek
- Janet Thatcher -
We had a diagnosis of infertility and had a miscarriage before getting pregnant with our son on a non-medicated cycle. According to our doctor, we weren't supposed to get pregnant on our own but God had other plans!
We were initially excited about our pregnancy as things started out well, but we were both scared since we'd already had a miscarriage 5 months earlier. I think when any couple iniatially starts trying to conceive they believe they will take home a healthy baby. After going through miscarriage and infertility however we let that joy and hope be replaced by fear and anger. We wanted to be excited but feared that things could go wrong. In an effort to drive away the fear, I went back to scripture and read the verses that were close to my heart. One specific verse that spoke to me came from Psalm 9:10 "Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." Those verses in the first few weeks calmed my heart.
The initial appointments we had with the fertility center showed a healthy baby so starting out we were very encouraged. Our hopes were dashed however, when I started bleeding at 9 1/2 weeks. I went to the emergency room expecting to find that I had miscarried again but instead found out I had a rather large subchorionic hematoma (at it's largest it was 12 cm). I was told I was probably going to miscarry and there was little I could do about except to try to reduce my level of activity. As I put myself on a low level of activity, the next few weeks progressed as normal and the baby kept growing without further bleeding. I thought we were in the clear and the danger had passed but at 20 weeks I went to the emergency room again with bleeding and had a massive hemorrhage. The doctors and nurses actually thought my water broke because I was bleeding so heavily. I cried and prayed so hard that night. I felt so lost and forgotten. The doctors said my son would never make it and if he did survive this, he would never make it full term.
But God knew better! He graciously placed the right people in my life to help me get through one of the most challenging periods I had ever been through. He provided a nurse who sat and held my hand the night I had my hemorrhage when my husband couldn't be there. He also brought women who prayed over me as I was on bedrest for 10 weeks. I prayed a lot over those weeks and months.
The verse that brought me the most comfort was Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go". This gave me the strength to fight back the fear, worry, and anger I had. I couldn't understand why God would allow me to get pregnant only to possibly take it away only a few weeks before doctors could do anything to help. I prayed. I prayed God would carry me through and wouldn't allow me to be discouraged. And although I was discouraged at times, God answered the deepest desires of my heart! Despite the doctor's predictions that I would lose our son, the days and weeks crept closer to his due date.
I had a lot of additional appointments and was hospitalized 3 additional times but our son Jonathan Edward made it! He arrived July 3, 2017 and was delivered at 37 weeks 3 days, a complete miracle and answer to prayer!
You can find Janet on instagram where she shares about her rainbow baby, Jonathan and their inspiring journey to be debt free!