Imagine That - the Hard, the Crazy and the Dream Come True
Today, I would like to share 3 photos with you with some small stories.
At the end of this, I hope you will understand why we Firmly believe that His love for us is greater than the belief that what happened to us is tragic.
And I hope that at the end of this, these three photos will inspire hope in you to Believe Despite also!
The first picture - THE HARD.
Sept. 6, 2013. This picture is so hard for me to look at. In fact, when I loaded it and it appeared, my eyes welled up with tear and my mouth dried. I remember it like it was yesterday.
Our daughter, Crea, was in my arms and had just taken her last breath. My husband, who had been standing next to me fell to his knees and wept. All I could do was hold her, touch him and weep. Our daughter was 25 hours old. She was our 9th pregnancy and the only one we ever got to see here on Earth. We carried her for 35 weeks and she was STRONG. We all fought. We all believed.
You would look at this and think, "Tragic - the death of a dream". But it wasn't. It was the beginning of an amazing journey. We believe her life was perfect. She made us parents and the dream was realized. She taught us how to Believe Despite.
The second picture - THE CRAZY.
August 29, 2015. We were in front of Babies R Us and had just spent the better part of 3 hours picking out the perfect car seat. We went back and forth on models and colors but finally decided. We went and paid the hefty price for our car seat and took this picture on our way to the car. "What's so crazy about this picture", you ask? Well, that is where the story is found.
We had NO baby in site. None. We weren't pregnant. No surrogate was carrying our baby. There was no adoption coming up. No baby in site. This was just one of those "kick the devil in the face moments". We were still believing for a family. We didn't know HOW it would happen but I was having a moment where I got to thinking, "Christmas is almost here again and there is no prospect in site for a family!" Grief was hovering as our sweet girl's 2nd birthday was the next month and I was just in a "place". You know what I mean? The place where grief, desperation, frustration, anger, hopelessness, doubt, hurt and straight up sad hang out. The place you would rather never know of, much less, be so familiar with. Yep...I was going thru it! (As demonstrated by my hair!)
I told Terry, "I am having a hard time, we need to do something radical; something that would demonstrate radical faith". (Thank you Pastor Matt!)
We decided we would buy a car seat to kick the devil in the face and demonstrate the faith that we knew, that we knew, that we knew that our baby was on its way...one way or the other.
The third picture - THE DREAM COME TRUE.
November 8, 2015. That is me praying and watching our daughter's heartbeat and contractions on the monitor as her birthmom labored. The agency contacted us 7 weeks before this day and told us that we had been chosen and our little girl would be here soon!
The moments that followed this day are beyond description, but they were a sweet culmination of the moments in pictures one and two combined. For the good, the bad and all is complicated messiness! The journey has not always been kind. But the 15 years of infertility, the 9 miscarriages and the 1 infant death are all part of the journey that led to this dream coming true.
So... where are you in your journey? Are you in the hard? The crazy? Maybe you WANT to do something crazy to activate radical faith but the hard is too heavy or you are scared? Can I encourage you today? "Blessed is she that BELIEVED He would do what He said He would do"
Push passed the hurt and fear and do something radical! Give yourself permission to dream again and start imagining what it will look like. Paint a room, get a crib, an outfit, a book for your baby. (I have books from 12 years ago I dedicated to our baby) This journey is YOURS!
It may not be the road we wanted to take and it may seem too hard to take another step, but I pray that our story will inspire a new hope in you to believe again and take the next step. Don't quit! If you know He has said He will make you parents, His words will complete their assignment.
Believe Despite, friends! Your miracle is right around the corner!
I had the privilege of sitting down with Elisa and hearing about her story, her heartache, and her miracle. I heard about the hard, the crazy, and the dream come true, and I would love to share that with you! Check out the VIDEO but grab a tissue first. Then prepare your heart for your own miracle, my friend.