The Christmas Card Exchange CHANGED HER LIFE!!

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Lauren, here! I'm so excited to share this email testimony with you (I asked permission to share)! This is an AMAZING story of God's goodness. He sees us and what we need, and He is FAITHFUL! Now grab a tissue...

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Photo Credit: Sabraw Photography

Hi Lauren!

My name is Courtney Kelly and I was a part of the 2017 Christmas Card Exchange. I learned about it from the I Am Fruitful Instastories. I didn't know that it would change my life when I swiped up for more information. 

I learned about I Am Fruitful from the blog post, Wait Until He's Late. I started following I Am Fruitful on Instagram. I signed up and then prayed for my Christmas Card Exchange partner, not knowing who she would be but fully confident that God knew.

On October 26th, 2013, I vowed to my husband to love him "in sickness and in health," and it has come in that order. We have dealt with a miscarriage right before he started chemotherapy for stage 3 colon cancer. Infertility was something we knew COULD happen but didn't think it would. After 12 rounds of chemotherapy, infertility was added to the list. We did two failed rounds of IVF in the fall of 2016. 

Mark Batterson says that, "God shows up and God shows off." God REALLY showed off with Jamie. On November 30th, my life changed. I tried to find her on social media, but couldn't, so I hoped Jamie was a girl (Haha!) and sent her a card and my favorite devotional. On December 8th, she sent me an email, and a friendship was born. 

I'm not sure I can get through this part without crying, so please stay with me! I had to wait 29 years to meet my husband. I had to wait 33 years to meet the friend that my heart has always always always wanted. I used to pray to have a friend that I had a lot in common with but I stopped praying because I hadn't met her. I didn’t think she existed. I wanted a friend I could laugh and cry with, a friend that would understand me and my love for Jesus (and share it with me!) and a friend that would be there – really be there – and understand me. And I would do the same for her! Only God could've orchestrated this friendship because even our differences are compatible. Jamie is the same as me AND totally different than me. God really showed off!

I'm writing this email to thank you. Thank you for hosting the Christmas Card Exchange. Thank you for prayerfully considering the matches. Thank you for this incredible blessing. My hope and my prayer is that you are blessed abundantly. I pray that God shows up and He shows off... for you! Thank you, Lauren, from the bottom of my heart.

Love,

Courtney Kelly 

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Joy Comes in the Morning: Coloring Through Infant Loss & Miscarriage

$12.99

If you have experienced a miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss- this coloring book is for you!  It also makes a thoughtful gift for a friend going through the devastating loss of a baby. 

This collection of designs forms a beautiful and therapeutic tool for grieving. It provides a creative way to express your grief while meditating on the Word of God and filling your mind with truth.

It is a beautiful collection of over 25 inspiring pages designed by artists from Alaska to Hawaii, from East Coast to West! The pages include a variety of styles, ink drawings, and digital creations. Many of the artists have experienced miscarriage or infant loss, and on the back of each page they share encouragement for the grieving heart.

*Also available on Amazon Prime!

30 Days of Thankfulness IN THE WAIT!

A Photo-A-Day Challenge

It's NOVEMBER! And that means leaves and pumpkin and cold weather and most of all a stirring of thankfulness is in the air! But sometimes it's hard to be (and feel) thankful when we're waiting on something. Maybe you're waiting to become pregnant, waiting on a job situation to change, waiting on your healing, waiting on that thing that you have no control over but to pray. While we're waiting, we can still be thankful! It may feel like a big sacrifice, and it may be hard, but we can still be thankful!! And look what this amazing scripture shows us about sacrificing thanksgiving to God:

Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,
    and keep the vows you made to the Most High.
Then call on me when you are in trouble,
    and I will rescue you,
    and you will give me glory.

Psalms 50:14-16 (NLT)

It tells us that after we make thankfulness a sacrifice to God, THEN we call on him when we're in trouble and He'll rescue us!!

Simply post a photo each day on Instagram/FB and tag @i.am.fruitful #iamfruitfulchallenge)

1. Fall

2. This Scripture

3. This Food

4. Love

5. Book

6. Quiet Time

7. Cycle Day

8. My Home

9. This Guy

10. Cozy

11. Friends

12. Marriage

13. Hoping for

14. A tradition

15. Finances

16. This gives me hope

17. Drink/Mug

18. Emotional healing

19. Worship

20. Someone else miracle

21. Doctor

22. Job

23. Family

24. Leftovers

25. Hobbies

26. Spot in my home

27. Something I made

28. A trip

29. Something God has done

30. Expectation

Psalms 116:17 (The Message) "I’m ready to offer the thanksgiving sacrifice and pray in the name of God."

I'm ready, are you!?

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Share and do this with your friends! Pin so you can do it with us next year!

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10 Journaling Prompts Through Miscarriage

If you are grieving the loss of a baby, I am so sorry! It's one of the hardest things to go through, and although you will never forget (and you don't want to)... it will get easier. It IS possible for your heart to heal because we serve a loving Father who comforts us and takes care of us and desires for us to walk in full and complete health- physically AND emotionally! 

Whether your miscarriage was 10 years ago or your baby died at birth last week, our team wants to encourage you to grieve- and that looks different for everyone. Don't be afraid to take the hard questions to God, to figure out why you're angry, to cry, to ask for help, to get some counseling or therapy. In our culture, we have been conditioned to think those things are a sign of weakness, but I believe they are a sign of a very strong woman who is dealing with her disappointment and loss in a healthy way!

So on to our journaling. One of the ways we figure out how we feel and begin to move on is by writing! And you don't have to write a novel. There were days after my miscarriages that I filled pages of my journal with ink and tears, but there were days I couldn't write at all- or I could write a single, angry sentence. Both were good. Both were healthy. 

Here are 10 simple journal prompts while you're going through the loss of a baby:

1. I feel God's presence most when...

2. Sometimes I feel guilty because...

3. I feel like I'm missing out on...

4. I feel angry because...

5. I'm grateful for...

6. I feel shame when...

7. A scripture that's helping me is...

8. God's showing me that He is...

9. The hardest time of day is...

10. I find the most hope when...

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If you feel this was helpful for you, don't forget to Pin and Share it for other ladies as well!

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sold out

Joy Comes in the Morning: Coloring Through Infant Loss & Miscarriage

$12.99

If you have experienced a miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss- this coloring book is for you!  It also makes a thoughtful gift for a friend going through the devastating loss of a baby. 

This collection of designs forms a beautiful and therapeutic tool for grieving. It provides a creative way to express your grief while meditating on the Word of God and filling your mind with truth.

It is a beautiful collection of over 25 inspiring pages designed by artists from Alaska to Hawaii, from East Coast to West! The pages include a variety of styles, ink drawings, and digital creations. Many of the artists have experienced miscarriage or infant loss, and on the back of each page they share encouragement for the grieving heart.

*Also available on Amazon Prime!

Take Courage! He's in the waiting.

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It's Worship Wednesday, and we would love for you to worship with us today! I wish we could be together, hands lifted high in praise, but here we are worshiping together over the internet! This song... these lyrics! He's in the waiting, what a precious reminder for our TTC family. 

Quite honestly, my family went through a pretty scary situation over the weekend, and I truly experienced "taking courage through the waiting." We were waiting on what could have been a HORRIBLE diagnosis for my 5 year old son. Something NO Mom ever wants to experience. But the Lord was in every detail. (He's fine BTW! Just mono. AND HE WAS COMPLETELY HEALED THAT NIGHT!)

I think so often we keep God out of the waiting. We think He'll show up once the issue is resolved, the healing has come, the answer is yes. But He wants to be there DURING the waiting! Whether the "waiting" is a over a period of hours, years, or decades.

Whatever you're going through today. Whatever situation. No matter how big or how small. No matter how long you've been waiting... TAKE COURAGE. He will keep His promise to you and you will experience victory!!

Watch the lyric video for "Take Courage" from the album "Starlight." "Starlight" is the first album recorded live on tour and the follow-up project to "You Make Me Brave." Featuring 14 new songs by worship leaders: Jenn Johnson, Steffany Gretzinger, Amanda Cook, Kristene DiMarco, Kalley Heiligenthal, Melissa Helser, Hannah McClure and Grammy award winning guest worship leader, Francesca Battistelli.

Take Courage- Bethel Music

"So take courage my heart,

Stay steadfast my soul

He's in the waiting

He's in the waiting

Hold onto your hope

As your triumph unfolds

He's never failing

He's never failing" 

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Going through infertility or loss? Share this with your family...

I'm so excited to introduce you to my amazing mom, Pam Grosse. I'm so thankful to her for sharing her heart during National Infertility Awareness Week. If you're going through infertility or loss and your family just doesn't seem to understand... send this to them. It's a great way to get a conversation started! Chances are they WANT to be there for you, they just may not know how!! And most likely, they don't have any idea how you feel or how hard this is!! I'll be following up this post soon with a list of ways to support family members going through delayed fertility.

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Written by: Pam Grosse

I have never experienced the excruciating loss of an infant or child, or had a miscarriage, or spent years of waiting, hoping, and praying that I would become pregnant.  Nor have I dealt with the stress that can manifest in a marriage when any of these things have occurred.  But, I am the mother of someone who has endured several miscarriages, has spent hours in doctors’ offices, waited and waited and waited for months to conceive only to receive disappointing news, and probably cried buckets of tears.  Sadly, most young women or couples in that position feel very alone and frustrated – and many get depressed.  What is even sadder is that the people around them don’t even know how that person is feeling.  Not even family.  Not even Mom.  That is why I am so thrilled to see I Am Fruitful reaching so many lives and helping so many to heal and have hope.

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Lauren & Pam

When my daughter, Lauren Bourne, and her husband, Billy, started I Am Fruitful I was so happy to know that even though they had already had one baby and another would soon be on the way, they wanted to reach out to couples like themselves who were going through similar situations.  There just wasn’t much out there for them when they were going through a tough time, so before they even received their first miracle, God began speaking to them to begin their ministry to women and couples who were going through similar situations or even worse.

As Lauren’s ministry began taking shape I began to realize just how much my daughter hadn’t been able to share with me and how much pain she and Billy had experienced.  Even though Lauren and Billy have a solid marriage with God at the center, they suffered heartache that people who are not in their situation will ever understand.  I thought that because I had such a great son-in-law, he would be there for Lauren and she would be there for him, and I just needed to let them be alone.  Time would heal their wounds. Besides, her dad and I lived 4 ½ hours away, so I would just pray and trust God to answer.  Sadly, they felt very alone with little support.  They were experiencing deep pain and hopelessness and very few people knew what they were going through or how to help.  I believe that most family members or friends who have never gone through a long season of waiting to get pregnant, suffered miscarriage, or even worse – the loss of an infant, will ever fully comprehend what someone going through any of those events truly feels.

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Fast forward to two precious gifts (my grandchildren) from God and a ministry that is reaching out to couples who are hurting – just like Lauren and Billy were hurting.  And it all comes down to them surrendering their hearts completely to their heavenly Father, believing that His word to us is true, that His ways and thoughts are much higher than ours, and His plans for His children are  great – to give them a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).  Now, there is a wonderful place to connect with others who are trying to conceive or have suffered an immeasurable loss – a safe place where they can share from the depths of their heart and find resources to help in such a difficult season of grief or waiting.

I now have a much greater understanding of what my children went through with delayed fertility and multiple miscarriages, and I feel honored to be part of the prayer team at I Am Fruitful.  We are here to be a voice to God on behalf of those who are unable to express theirs or for those who need someone to stand with them for their dreams and desires to be met.

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“You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!  ”

— John 14:13-14 (NLT)

My heart goes out to every person who writes in, and although I am not connecting with them on a personal basis, I am interceding on their behalf, thanking our faithful heavenly Father for hearing every prayer and for bringing every answer.  I have already heard many happy stories of what God has done in so many lives, and I want to encourage anyone reading this who is going through a difficult time to press into God and let Him take your burden and pain in exchange for His peace, joy, and healing.  

No matter where you are right now, God knows it, He sees it, and He is there to comfort you, strengthen you, and give you hope – even in the midst of what may be a very dark time.  Joy truly does come in the morning, because the Lord’s mercies are new every morning – and He will never leave you alone.  EXPECT His faithfulness in your life!

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.  
”

— Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

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Lauren, here! Can I just tell you how amazing this woman is?? This woman I get to call Mom. The one who drives over 4 hours to babysit. The one who always reminds me it's okay to be a little feisty. The one who has encouraged me over the decades to pursue my dreams. 

She may have downplayed her involvement during our waiting season. She and my dad may not have understood, but they were CONSTANTLY encouraging me, sending me emails, shooting me texts with scripture, calling, asking how I was, reminding me that God is bigger. I'm so grateful to have a supportive and Christ-centered family, and I say we need to make Mom's writing a regular thing around here!

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Check out OUR IDEAS for raising awareness and getting involved during National Infertility Awareness Week! It's not too late!

Lately on Instagram:

It's Worship Wednesday!

This song is so dear to my heart. My darkest seasons of life have been marked by lies from the enemy that God is not near to me. Everyone else? Oh yes... Just not me. That is so WRONG! Do you ever feel this way? Let worship be your weapon today. God has NOT forgotten you. He loves you deeply, completely, and constantly. 

I love this song because it reminds us that He doesn't give us pieces of His heart, and He doesn't tease us! So often, miscarriage can feel like a big tease from God. But it's not!! And I know that because He does NOT tease us. 

“Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn’t think of such a thing. You’re at least decent to your own children. So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?”

— Matthew 7:9-11

Bethel Music "Pieces" 

This is the official lyric video from Bethel Music for "Pieces" off of Amanda Cook's upcoming solo album, "Brave New World." Pre-order the album and get 3 instant song downloads, including "Pieces": http://bit.ly/BNWPreOrder Learn more about the album: http://www.bethelmusic.com/brave-new-world

First Ever Worship Wednesday!

It's Wednesday... Worship Wednesday! And we want to start by reminding you that God is the God of miracles!!!

We are going to start sharing one song every week on Instagram. Our team will choose a different song each week– something that we believe will draw you closer to the Lord as you worship. 

We highly encourage you to give a "sacrifice of praise" as you begin worshiping. 

“Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.”

— Hebrews 13:15 ESV

It's not a sacrifice to praise God when life is going perfectly. But He asks us to praise Him continually– not just in the good times. So begin your worship by praising God for simply who He is.

As a community, let's lift up our voices and praise the King of Kings together. In your car, in your kitchen, wherever you are let's take a few minutes to declare that our God is the God of Miracles! 

Jesus Culture "Miracles" 

Jesus Culture presents "Miracles" live from Outcry. New album Let It Echo on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/LetItEcho?IQid=vevo SUBSCRIBE to JesusCultureVEVO: http://smarturl.it/JCVEVOSubscribe Stream/Share on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/LetItEchoSpotify?IQid=vevo See more on: Website: http://jesusculture.com/albums/let-it-echo Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/jesusculture Twitter: http://twitter.com/jesusculture Instagram: http://instagram.com/jesusculture (P) (C) 2015 Jesus Culture Music, under exclusive license to Sparrow Records

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A new program that will greatly impact lives!

Long before we started I Am Fruitful, I would pray for ladies who told me they were having trouble getting pregnant. I'd take a gift when I heard of a miscarriage. I would meet for lunch to help ease a nervous friend's mind about IUI. I would send a text and ask how it's going. It was one friend at a time. And although our ministry has grown, my heart remains the same. I deeply desire to support you on this journey to grow your family. 

We have so many requests for support and prayer, and my personal capacity to pray has reached its cap.

Enter our new Prayer Team!!  

We're so blessed to have a team of people ready and willing to come alongside you in prayer. 

 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another [your false steps, your offenses], and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored. The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man (believer) can accomplish much [when put into action and made effective by God--it is dynamic and can have tremendous power].”

‭‭JAMES‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Many issues can arise while dealing with delayed fertility or the loss of a baby- financial strain, marriage issues, health problems, emotional stress, procedures and tests, adoption processes. The list goes on! 

Let us know how we can support you! 

Submit your prayer need http://www.iamfruitful.org/prayerrequests

A poem from a daddy after miscarriage

My husband, Billy, wrote this poem after our first miscarriage with our son, Levi.

Miscarriage is HARD for the moms. But it's hard for the dad's too! I hope this blesses a hurting daddy today.

To Levi
by Billy Bourne

There's no direction for my emotion

I'm confused on what to feel...

A hurt without a name 

But, a hurt I can't conceal.

You’ll never see a day begin

A life without a breath

Innocence that knows no sin

My wife's spirit without rest

I'll never recognize your mother

Behind the smiles of your eye

I know you only by your heartbeat

And by your name - Levi

 Your eyes will never open

 Your hands will never hold

 Your lips will never kiss

 Your story never told

You will never say you love me

I'll never see you wed

I'll never make you pancakes

Or carry you to bed

 I'll never make you laugh

 I'll never let you win

 I'll never pick you up

 I'll never tuck you in

I'll never hold you in my arms

I'll never hear you cry

I'm blind to see your face

There's no answer to the - why?

So I sat down with the lord

And asked him to help me see

Why he would let this happen

Here's what he said to me:

 

Like a son that I've created

Who never knew me while on earth

Eternal separation from me    

Like your son without his birth

 
They will never know my love

Or who I created them to be

Lost forever and unknown

Their true identity a mystery

But, my grace is SO sufficient

Your broken heart I clearly see

But on the day you see my face

You'll see Levi standing next to me

 
I'll be your voice, I'll be your dad

And I'll love and pray for you

Until the day I see the Father

And the first day I see you

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Pregnancy Loss Journey Podcast

I'm so honored to have been interviewed by the lovely Christy of the Pregnancy Loss Journey Podcast.

In this episode I share briefly about our own delayed fertility and miscarriages. Here are a few things we dig into:

• choosing faith over fear
• hope in the waiting
• what do we have faith in?
• managing emotions
• accountability
• redemption for loss

 If you need a little hope in your struggle... have a listen.

Psalm 126:5-6 (NLT)

"Those who plant in tears
    will harvest with shouts of joy.
They weep as they go to plant their seed,
    but they sing as they return with the harvest."

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thoughts from a father on miscarriage

I'm so blessed to have a husband who not only supports me in the things I pursue, but who participates with me. Although you may hear more out of me, He's been actively working right alongside me in this ministry from the beginning. He loves the I Am Fruitful Community, he's constantly showing me a new perspective, and his heart for men and couples is inspiring. 

We experienced 3 miscarriages throughout our delayed fertility, and this is one life-changing thing that the Lord showed my husband as we battled with loneliness, difficult questions, and anger towards God. Now, from Billy...

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"I Know How You Feel" - God

If you're like me– you may have read this with a slightly sarcastic tone, or maybe you know it is SUPPOSED to be true but you haven't yet unlocked the mystery of truth that seems to be alluding your thoughts. 

I remember how angry I was when I was digging into the injustice of our 2nd miscarriage.  

I remember sitting down (the way I had historically approached prayer) and taking out the checklist of thoughts I had to build my case against the so called 'goodness' of God. 

Somehow deep down I wanted to be corrected. I wanted to have my perspective change the way He had shown me so many times before. Maybe because my anger blinded me or maybe because I was experiencing emotions on a level I hadn't experienced before, or both; I went in and out of those conversations without an answer and without a response that seemed to help me understand or bring me peace.

At the time I had all but given up trying to understand the how and why of miscarriage...  I had seemingly moved on and chalked it up as "something I just won't understand until I get to heaven," and that's when completely randomly– God downloaded this...

It started with an intense emotion of empathy–  as if I felt and connected with God before I understood fully what He was going to unpack. Then I stumbled onto this scripture.

“Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you.”

— Jeremiah 1:5

Then God hit me with this–  "I've had billions of miscarriages."

Wait...  huh???

The idea began to unfold...  He showed me that every time one of His children is born, they have the choice throughout their life of whether to spend eternity with their Father.  They have a choice to spend their life pursuing a relationship with Him or not. When they choose not to, they will be apart from Him for all of eternity. 

He loses them, but they aren't forgotten. 

We think of this verse, talking about the point of conception and even before it, that God the Father had us in mind. He knew us. And so, He also knows our children, even though we never will on this earth. Our children will be apart from us through our time on this earth, but we serve a Father who redeems. His perfect design unites us forever with not only our earthly children, but the children we haven't known.

God can change our perspective in a moment. I want to encourage you to pursue a conversation with Him in faith– that He is good, He understands, and He wants to comfort you...  

He knows how you feel...

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Lately on Instagram

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A Podcast Interview about Miscarriage, Grief, and Faith

I'm so honored to have been interviewed on the Holistic Fertility and Wellness Podcast with Stephanie Risinger. In this interview I share our personal story of loss and our struggle to conceive. We also discuss grief, faith, and I share valuable suggestions for how to support couples experiencing miscarriage.

Click HERE to listen and be encouraged! You are not alone.

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Share Your Story

Huckins

When Your Stork Gets Delayed

We took our kids to see the new Storks movie. I've honestly been waiting anxiously to see it since I first saw the preview.  Major spoiler alerts in this post (I know, I know... it's not the latest Star Wars or Bourne movie... it's just a kids movie... and it's animated. I should calm down... I know)! But still- spoiler alerts.

My husband will be the first to tell you that when I get into a show or movie, I REALLY get into it. Like, if you overheard me discussing the movie, you'd think Jen Aniston and I were besties. Yeah, I call her Jen.

So yes, it's animated. But I really got into this one.

I'm a grown woman. And I wouldn't consider myself overly emotional. But Lord have mercy, this grown woman cried during an animated film about storks. Not tears running into my popcorn crying, but my five year old looked over at me wondering what was up.

Well I'll tell you. This movie hit home with me for so many reasons!  

First- doesn't the stork idea sound so amazing? You send a letter for a child and the storks produce the perfect baby for your family and deliver it in no time, to your doorstep. No waiting. No tears. No childbirth. No failed ivf's. No infertility. Just a baby and a bird on your doorstep. 

An infertile couple's dream.

The storyline was centered around an 18 year old girl who lives with the storks because she had never been delivered to her family. Now she's grown and accidentally turns on the baby-producing machine that's been shut down for so many years. She screws up, makes a baby, and now she and a stork have to deliver it to the boy who ordered a sibling. 

This boy was in serious need of affection. He had workaholic parents with horrible priorities and he just wanted someone to love him. Someone to play with. So he ordered a baby.  

By sending a letter.

For all those who have gone through infertility on ANY level... Absolute dream.

Well what got me were how many obstacles the girl and the stork faced trying to get that sweet, pink-haired baby girl to her family. It should have been an easy delivery. They had the address and transportation.

Then a broken wing. Then a plain crash. Then a wolf attack. And it was one thing after another. Well that hit home. 

Thats how it felt when we were trying to conceive. One thing after another. Failed iui. Then a miscarriage. Then months of nothing. Bad reports. And the list goes on. It felt like the enemy did everything in his power to stop our children from joining our family. Some days I lost faith and thought it would never happen. It was one of the most challenging things I've ever faced. 

Back to spoilers. They began to show the storyline of the little boy and his family. The change that took place in their hearts as they waited for their baby. They began spending time together, re-prioritizing, allowing change to happen in their ralationships and in their hearts. And I thought- if that baby had been dropped off at their door right away, their family could have fallen apart. WOULD have fallen apart! They would NOT have been ready.

And I know- this isn't Les Miserables. It's an animated movie about storks. I'm not trying to win a movie critic award.

But it really got to me! How many of us want the stork to deliver the baby right away, when God has so many things He'd like to work in our hearts and families. He may or may not be causing the delay. Every situation is different. But why not use that time to build our dream families in our hearts. Become the best wives we can. Love fearlessly. Grow our relationships and capacity for love. Work on the deep stuff, get emotionally healthy so that when that delivery does come... our families are ready for it!!  Cue "We are the champions!" 

I grew so much during my struggle to conceive, during my miscarriages, during my marriage struggles, during each failed fertility procedure or negative test. I was in a place of complete reliance on the Lord and I deeply desired to change in any area the Lord wanted me to. That's when breakthrough happens, my friends!

And so as amazing as it sounds to send a letter and receive a delivery...  

I want to challenge you to open your hearts and your families to change. Please hear me... I am NOT saying that you're not getting pregnant because there's something wrong with you or you're being punished or you've got a long list of things to change. I don't believe that! What I AM saying is don't allow this time to go by without ALLOWING God to do a work in your heart.  You'll be even more ready when you're "stork" arrives!

  “[Gabriel] stood before me and said, ‘Daniel, I have come to make things plain to you. You had no sooner started your prayer when the answer was given. And now I’m here to deliver the answer to you. You are much loved...” Daniel‬ ‭9:22-23‬ ‭MSG‬‬

God sent an angel with Daniel's answer the first day he prayed, but did you know it took 21 days to arrive because there were forces not of this world that were delaying the angel!!  Daniel's personal stork, in this context. 

 “Relax, Daniel,’ he continued, ‘don’t be afraid. From the moment you decided to humble yourself to receive understanding, your prayer was heard, and I set out to come to you. But I was waylaid by the angel-prince of the kingdom of Persia and was delayed for a good three weeks.” Daniel‬ ‭10:12-13 ‭MSG‬‬

Answers get delayed. Storks in movies get delayed. Actual angels even get delayed. But we serve a God of redemption!! And He restores much more than what was lost! Whether it be time, life, hope, finances! He redeems it!

So have hope. Continue believing and praying and allowing God to work in your life. Praise Him BEFORE your stork arrives. Because He's already received your letter. He's already packaged up your delivery... sometimes it just gets delayed and arrives differently than we expected it to. It's what you do in the meantime that will change the course of your family and your legacy. 

Please Pin or Share if this encouraged you in your waiting!

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Lord, send someone else!

 “But Moses again pleaded, 'Lord, please! Send anyone else.'” Exodus‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Oh my! So much to think on here!! How often do we wish God would call, appoint, or send someone else?? How often do we wish He would give us a different battle to fight, a different dream to fulfill, a different group of people to lead. How often do we tell God that someone else could do this better??

I know I've been there. The first time I did a live video I was terrified. I still get nervous, thinking I'm not qualified. What if I get it wrong? What if I mess up? What if they don't respond? What if xyz doesn't happen? 

And I remember very clearly wishing I didn't have to go through our battle with infertility. Why us? I thought, "I'm not strong enough or brave enough." And so often I wondered how much longer I could handle it. 

Well I want to encourage you that if God has asked something of you, He knows you can do it! He will equip you to do it and to get through this season!! He will send people to help you!! So change your attitude to "Send me!! Use ME!! Change what needs to be changed!!"

Because if you don't... He might just find somebody else...  

My friends- you have great purpose! You are stronger than you think!! God is faithful and He has great plans for you!! Don't be afraid of them. 

Do what you LOVE! Love what you do!

It's our ministry's anniversary week, so I'm naturally reflective of this last year.    There have been so many ups, and there have been a few downs. There have been days of crazy excitement as God has downloaded ideas, helped us process plans, laid foundations, and opened doors.

I remember the first donation. I remember vividly the first time I went live on Periscope- complete and utter terror. I remember all the friends who cheered me on and supported me... and continue to! I remember the first Instagram post and thinking, "Is anyone even going to see this?"

There were days I almost quit. There were so many of those days. Days where I was made aware of yet another miscarriage. Days where I let the sad stories get the best of me. Days where I didn't think I was doing a good job and didn't feel qualified. Days where I allowed others opinions to creep in and impact my spirit. Days where I didn't know how we were going to pay for things. I was terrified when we began this ministry. What if I said the wrong thing? What if I failed? What would happen to my heart?

But let me tell you... There were mostly days where I couldn't even wrap my mind around how blessed I am in this season of ministry. The excitement of starting something so impactful has been amazing. I experience so much joy every single time I get a message from one of you saying, "I haven't told anyone yet, but I'm pregnant and HAD to tell you!" I'm so humbled and honored when I'm told that this community has helped you through the most difficult time of your life and that you've grown in the midst of it because ofthe support  you've received. 

Most of the days this past year, my jaw was to my chest because I was in awe of the unexpected things God was doing- The healings, the miracles, the pregnancies, the restore marriages, the freedom! Jaw dropping stuff.  

Occassionally I want to quit. It's hard work! This takes so much time and effort and resources... and a spirit that HAS to remain filled up!  

But friends... I'm doing what I love and I absolutely LOVE what I do. I love this growing community. I love this area of the human heart, this overwhelming desire to become parents, and I love encouraging you in this season!  What we thought would be simply "fueling up hope" in couples who are trying to conceive has turned into so much more. 

Thank you for coming alongside us as we continue to seek the Lord on how to best support you! If the Lord is asking you to do something, if He's stirring your heart for someone... do what He's asking you! Will it be hard? Probably. Will you need help? Yes. Will you want to quit? Most likely. But if you do what He asks you to do in life, you end up getting the opportunity to do what you love and you will absolutely love what you do. That's the amazing thing about God. He can mold and change our hearts to fit his. He can shape our desires to match what He wants us to have. And it's always better than what we plan for ourselves. 

Happy 1 Year Anniversary I Am Fruitful!! More celebrating to come!  

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1 Amazing Thing That Happens When We Overcome Fear

I hope you have seen a breakthrough in your life as we've gone through this short series on fear! You can catch all the videos HERE! And, of course, if you missed any of the posts, check them out here:

I'm so stinking excited to share what I've recently learned about victory over fear. This is from the Bill Johnson sermon from the post 9 Sermons to Help Overcome Fear, where he teaches us what happens when we have victory over fear! This rocked my world. Seriously.

Phil 1:27-28 ESV

"Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God."

The message version says, “Your courage and unity will show them what they’re up against: defeat for them, victory for you—and both because of God.”

And this is what Bill Johnson said in his message, “Everytime you and I are victorious over a fear issue, what is broadcast over the PA of hell or the powers of darkness is pending doom, absolute eternal judgement and they try to get you to fear so they don’t have to think about what’s coming. That’s what victory over fear does!! It announces what’s coming their way.”

What?! Holy cow, yes. The enemy doesn't want to have to think about their own depressing and horrifying eternity... so they want us to fear instead. It takes their minds off their own prisons. And when we have victory over our fear- it's broadcast over the loudspeakers of hell and they remember what's coming for them.

We have the victory in Christ. Fix your eyes on Him, and you will have the victory!

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6 Tips to Overcome Fear

We've been going through a series on our live streams about overcoming fear. You can check those videos out HERE! Today, I want to share some of the things the Lord has been showing me lately as I've been going to Him in prayer and researching for this series! If you sneak a scroll... don't freak out! It's long, I know. But it's long because I've included whole CHAPTERS from His Word! Feel free to use this in your quiet time the next few days and meditate on these scriptures!

1. Delight in His Word

This is seriously an amazing chapter to meditate on if you’re dealing with what ifs or maybe having a difficult time aligning your heart with God’s. I love this chapter so much that I've included it below for you in 2 versions!

Psalm 112 (NLT)

Praise the Lord!

How joyful are those who fear the Lord
    and delight in obeying his commands.
2 Their children will be successful everywhere;
    an entire generation of godly people will be blessed.
3 They themselves will be wealthy,
    and their good deeds will last forever.
4 Light shines in the darkness for the godly.
    They are generous, compassionate, and righteous.
5 Good comes to those who lend money generously
    and conduct their business fairly.
6 Such people will not be overcome by evil.
    Those who are righteous will be long remembered.
7 They do not fear bad news;
    they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.
8 They are confident and fearless
    and can face their foes triumphantly.
9 They share freely and give generously to those in need.
    Their good deeds will be remembered forever.
    They will have influence and honor.
10 The wicked will see this and be infuriated.
    They will grind their teeth in anger;
    they will slink away, their hopes thwarted.

Psalm 112 (ESV)

[a] Praise the Lord!

Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,
    who greatly delights in his commandments!
2 His offspring will be mighty in the land;
    the generation of the upright will be blessed.
3 Wealth and riches are in his house,
    and his righteousness endures forever.
4 Light dawns in the darkness for the upright;
    he is gracious, merciful, and righteous.
5 It is well with the man who deals generously and lends;
    who conducts his affairs with justice.
6 For the righteous will never be moved;
    he will be remembered forever.
7 He is not afraid of bad news;
    his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.
8 His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,
    until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.
9 He has distributed freely; he has given to the poor;
    his righteousness endures forever;
    his horn is exalted in honor.
10 The wicked man sees it and is angry;
    he gnashes his teeth and melts away;
    the desire of the wicked will perish!

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2. Seek wisdom & understanding

Really no need for me to explain this one. Read below to understand!

Proverbs 3 The Message (MSG)

Don’t Assume You Know It All

3 1-2 Good friend, don’t forget all I’ve taught you;
    take to heart my commands.
They’ll help you live a long, long time,
    a long life lived full and well.

3-4 Don’t lose your grip on Love and Loyalty.
    Tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart.
Earn a reputation for living well
    in God’s eyes and the eyes of the people.

5-12 Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
    Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
    your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
    give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
    your wine vats will brim over.
But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;
    don’t sulk under his loving correction.
It’s the child he loves that God corrects;
    a father’s delight is behind all this.

The Very Tree of Life

13-18 You’re blessed when you meet Lady Wisdom,
    when you make friends with Madame Insight.
She’s worth far more than money in the bank;
    her friendship is better than a big salary.
Her value exceeds all the trappings of wealth;
    nothing you could wish for holds a candle to her.
With one hand she gives long life,
    with the other she confers recognition.
Her manner is beautiful,
    her life wonderfully complete.
She’s the very Tree of Life to those who embrace her.
    Hold her tight—and be blessed!

19-20 With Lady Wisdom, God formed Earth;
    with Madame Insight, he raised Heaven.
They knew when to signal rivers and springs to the surface,
    and dew to descend from the night skies.

Never Walk Away

21-26 Dear friend, guard Clear Thinking and Common Sense with your life;
    don’t for a minute lose sight of them.
They’ll keep your soul alive and well,
    they’ll keep you fit and attractive.
You’ll travel safely,
    you’ll neither tire nor trip.
You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry,
    you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep.
No need to panic over alarms or surprises,
    or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner,
Because God will be right there with you;
    he’ll keep you safe and sound.

27-29 Never walk away from someone who deserves help;
    your hand is God’s hand for that person.
Don’t tell your neighbor “Maybe some other time”
    or “Try me tomorrow”
    when the money’s right there in your pocket.
Don’t figure ways of taking advantage of your neighbor
    when he’s sitting there trusting and unsuspecting.

30-32 Don’t walk around with a chip on your shoulder,
    always spoiling for a fight.
Don’t try to be like those who shoulder their way through life.
    Why be a bully?
“Why not?” you say. Because God can’t stand twisted souls.
    It’s the straightforward who get his respect.

33-35 God’s curse blights the house of the wicked,
    but he blesses the home of the righteous.
He gives proud skeptics a cold shoulder,
    but if you’re down on your luck, he’s right there to help.
Wise living gets rewarded with honor;
    stupid living gets the booby prize.

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3. Declare your Strength

Bill Johnson says, “Our deliverance begins when we are no longer impressed with the size of our problem. Declare your strength and watch it become a reality. Some people are only a declaration away from victory! He put His Word in your mouth- declare it!”

Another thing I've learned from good 'ole Bill is this- “strength becomes a reality when it’s declared!”

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4. Fix your Eyes

I was so blessed to be invited to a worship conference (Presence 2016) in Austin this past weekend. Kim Walker-Smith shared such a personal story about her struggle with fear. She was basically crippled with fear while she was pregnant with her second child. Right before she became pregnant, her good friend's baby died of a horrible disease. Then, near the end of her pregnancy, another friend delivered a stillborn baby. She found herself screaming at night and completely paralyzed by the fear that something was wrong or something would happen to her precious child. Quoting scripture didn’t seem to help, praying didn’t seem to remove the fear (can anyone relate here?). But she knew she had to deal with it because she didn’t want to deliver a baby with this hanging over her head.

Then she FIXED HER EYES ON GOD.  She said, “When you fix your eyes on God, your issues don’t go away, but they don’t have control over you anymore." She also reminded us that our eyes and ears are so important if we are to be carriers of His presence and stay in alignment with Him.

One of the best things I took away from her message was this- “To be filled up means there is a constant pouring in so there is a constant pouring out.”

Put on blinders, and fix your eyes on Jesus, my friends.

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5. Serve Someone

I’m a big believer in planting seeds in the area you need a harvest. There’s always someone worse off than you. Do you need a financial breakthrough? Sow whatever you can to someone worse off. I mean- true story- last night I got a call from a friend which resulted in me pouring through my pantry, fridge, and freezer to give to a mom who literally did not have any food and couldn’t feed her kids. Always someone worse off.

Is it time to stop relying on other peoples generosity and begin cultivating a generous spirit in your own family? Finances will turn around for you. If you want a baby… pray for your friend who can’t conceive. Happily send her a note letting her know you’re praying for her. Need healing? Pray for someone else who’s believing for healing.

Point being- serve someone else.

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6. Praise God

Yep, even in the fear. Even in the storm. Praise Him. Thank Him.

Thank Him for what He's already done for you. Thank Him for what He's doing and for what He's going to do. And Praise Him for who He is!

Psalm 50:14-15 New Living Translation (NLT)

14 Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,
    and keep the vows you made to the Most High.
15 Then call on me when you are in trouble,
    and I will rescue you,
    and you will give me glory.”

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9 Sermons to help overcome Fear

Last week I shared 10 awesome scriptures that will help you combat fear, and you can check out that list HERE. This week, we've got 9 of our favorite sermons on fear. These sermons range from Steven Furtick to Joyce Meyer and Priscilla Shirer, and so many other amazing men and women of God. We hope this helps, and we're so proud of you for proactively fighting whatever fear you're struggling with!

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Bill Johnson- Love Versus Fear

T.D. Jakes- My Heart Attacks

Joyce Meyer- Overcoming Fear with Faith

Steven Furtick- Brave the Waves

Charles Stanley- Victory over Fear

Steven LeBlanc-  Breaking the Snare of Fear (Fear of Man)

Lisa Bevere- Freedom from Fear

Priscilla Shirer- Gateway's First Conference

Jimmy Evans- I Changed My Mind About Fear

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God is so good! He hasn’t run out of miracles!!

So many of you have become dads since we began this ministry! Happy Father’s Day to you!! And for those still waiting… we continue to pray for you!

Today we remember and are grateful to those who have served and given their lives. And to every family who has lost a loved one, we honor you and pray for you!

I know this weekend can be so hard for thousands of future mamas. You’ve been waiting and waiting and things don’t necessarily look good in the natural. I encourage you to stop scrolling this weekend. Get off social if it doesn’t bring you joy. Enjoy the loved ones around you and focus on who God says you are and what He says about you. Take a peak into the kingdom realm and what He is doing! You are strong and you will get through this. For those mammas who have lost babies. I am praying for you! That this weekend would be another step in your healing process!!

If you need encouragement today that God still does miracles, go read Psalms 111 (I love the Passion Translation). Every miracle demonstrates his eternal perfection. His miracles leave people astonished. His word proves trustworthy and true! You may be going through a battle with infertility, but we serve a God who still does miracles!! #iamfruitful #nationalinfertilityawarenessweek

This week of #nationalinfertilityawarenessweek can be so challenging for many! Instead of tapping into what people have to say, into raising awareness for an issue, into sad stories and advice etc… I encourage you to TAP INTO HIS FAITHFULNESS! That’s what Sarah did, and the same God who was faithful to her will be faithful to you. I encourage you to spend more time this week in His presence than in the presence of Insta. I promise you’ll be better off at the end of the week!! Who’s with me? #iamfruitful

Like every year, we seek to draw attention to our Healer, to the One who provides, to our problem-solver and Shepherd. Infertility is hard, we don’t deny it! But who is grateful for the hope we have that the world doesn’t?? I can’t imagine going through my fertility journey without the Father!!! #iamfruitful

Don’t stop believing that He will do what He said!!! #iamfruitful