The Christmas Card Exchange CHANGED HER LIFE!!

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Lauren, here! I'm so excited to share this email testimony with you (I asked permission to share)! This is an AMAZING story of God's goodness. He sees us and what we need, and He is FAITHFUL! Now grab a tissue...

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Photo Credit: Sabraw Photography

Hi Lauren!

My name is Courtney Kelly and I was a part of the 2017 Christmas Card Exchange. I learned about it from the I Am Fruitful Instastories. I didn't know that it would change my life when I swiped up for more information. 

I learned about I Am Fruitful from the blog post, Wait Until He's Late. I started following I Am Fruitful on Instagram. I signed up and then prayed for my Christmas Card Exchange partner, not knowing who she would be but fully confident that God knew.

On October 26th, 2013, I vowed to my husband to love him "in sickness and in health," and it has come in that order. We have dealt with a miscarriage right before he started chemotherapy for stage 3 colon cancer. Infertility was something we knew COULD happen but didn't think it would. After 12 rounds of chemotherapy, infertility was added to the list. We did two failed rounds of IVF in the fall of 2016. 

Mark Batterson says that, "God shows up and God shows off." God REALLY showed off with Jamie. On November 30th, my life changed. I tried to find her on social media, but couldn't, so I hoped Jamie was a girl (Haha!) and sent her a card and my favorite devotional. On December 8th, she sent me an email, and a friendship was born. 

I'm not sure I can get through this part without crying, so please stay with me! I had to wait 29 years to meet my husband. I had to wait 33 years to meet the friend that my heart has always always always wanted. I used to pray to have a friend that I had a lot in common with but I stopped praying because I hadn't met her. I didn’t think she existed. I wanted a friend I could laugh and cry with, a friend that would understand me and my love for Jesus (and share it with me!) and a friend that would be there – really be there – and understand me. And I would do the same for her! Only God could've orchestrated this friendship because even our differences are compatible. Jamie is the same as me AND totally different than me. God really showed off!

I'm writing this email to thank you. Thank you for hosting the Christmas Card Exchange. Thank you for prayerfully considering the matches. Thank you for this incredible blessing. My hope and my prayer is that you are blessed abundantly. I pray that God shows up and He shows off... for you! Thank you, Lauren, from the bottom of my heart.

Love,

Courtney Kelly 

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Joy Comes in the Morning: Coloring Through Infant Loss & Miscarriage

$12.99

If you have experienced a miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss- this coloring book is for you!  It also makes a thoughtful gift for a friend going through the devastating loss of a baby. 

This collection of designs forms a beautiful and therapeutic tool for grieving. It provides a creative way to express your grief while meditating on the Word of God and filling your mind with truth.

It is a beautiful collection of over 25 inspiring pages designed by artists from Alaska to Hawaii, from East Coast to West! The pages include a variety of styles, ink drawings, and digital creations. Many of the artists have experienced miscarriage or infant loss, and on the back of each page they share encouragement for the grieving heart.

*Also available on Amazon Prime!

10 Journaling Prompts Through Miscarriage

If you are grieving the loss of a baby, I am so sorry! It's one of the hardest things to go through, and although you will never forget (and you don't want to)... it will get easier. It IS possible for your heart to heal because we serve a loving Father who comforts us and takes care of us and desires for us to walk in full and complete health- physically AND emotionally! 

Whether your miscarriage was 10 years ago or your baby died at birth last week, our team wants to encourage you to grieve- and that looks different for everyone. Don't be afraid to take the hard questions to God, to figure out why you're angry, to cry, to ask for help, to get some counseling or therapy. In our culture, we have been conditioned to think those things are a sign of weakness, but I believe they are a sign of a very strong woman who is dealing with her disappointment and loss in a healthy way!

So on to our journaling. One of the ways we figure out how we feel and begin to move on is by writing! And you don't have to write a novel. There were days after my miscarriages that I filled pages of my journal with ink and tears, but there were days I couldn't write at all- or I could write a single, angry sentence. Both were good. Both were healthy. 

Here are 10 simple journal prompts while you're going through the loss of a baby:

1. I feel God's presence most when...

2. Sometimes I feel guilty because...

3. I feel like I'm missing out on...

4. I feel angry because...

5. I'm grateful for...

6. I feel shame when...

7. A scripture that's helping me is...

8. God's showing me that He is...

9. The hardest time of day is...

10. I find the most hope when...

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If you feel this was helpful for you, don't forget to Pin and Share it for other ladies as well!

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sold out

Joy Comes in the Morning: Coloring Through Infant Loss & Miscarriage

$12.99

If you have experienced a miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss- this coloring book is for you!  It also makes a thoughtful gift for a friend going through the devastating loss of a baby. 

This collection of designs forms a beautiful and therapeutic tool for grieving. It provides a creative way to express your grief while meditating on the Word of God and filling your mind with truth.

It is a beautiful collection of over 25 inspiring pages designed by artists from Alaska to Hawaii, from East Coast to West! The pages include a variety of styles, ink drawings, and digital creations. Many of the artists have experienced miscarriage or infant loss, and on the back of each page they share encouragement for the grieving heart.

*Also available on Amazon Prime!

The Bourne's share about their new book... RELEASING TODAY!

WATCH BELOW TO HEAR A LITTLE ABOUT THE BOOK,  OUR HEART FOR THIS PROJECT, AND WHAT WE HOPE THIS BOOK WILL ACCOMPLISH.

BIG THANKS TO CHRIS STETSON FOR THE VIDEO.

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A poem from a daddy after miscarriage

My husband, Billy, wrote this poem after our first miscarriage with our son, Levi.

Miscarriage is HARD for the moms. But it's hard for the dad's too! I hope this blesses a hurting daddy today.

To Levi
by Billy Bourne

There's no direction for my emotion

I'm confused on what to feel...

A hurt without a name 

But, a hurt I can't conceal.

You’ll never see a day begin

A life without a breath

Innocence that knows no sin

My wife's spirit without rest

I'll never recognize your mother

Behind the smiles of your eye

I know you only by your heartbeat

And by your name - Levi

 Your eyes will never open

 Your hands will never hold

 Your lips will never kiss

 Your story never told

You will never say you love me

I'll never see you wed

I'll never make you pancakes

Or carry you to bed

 I'll never make you laugh

 I'll never let you win

 I'll never pick you up

 I'll never tuck you in

I'll never hold you in my arms

I'll never hear you cry

I'm blind to see your face

There's no answer to the - why?

So I sat down with the lord

And asked him to help me see

Why he would let this happen

Here's what he said to me:

 

Like a son that I've created

Who never knew me while on earth

Eternal separation from me    

Like your son without his birth

 
They will never know my love

Or who I created them to be

Lost forever and unknown

Their true identity a mystery

But, my grace is SO sufficient

Your broken heart I clearly see

But on the day you see my face

You'll see Levi standing next to me

 
I'll be your voice, I'll be your dad

And I'll love and pray for you

Until the day I see the Father

And the first day I see you

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Joy Comes in the Morning is AVAILABLE TOMORROW for Pre-Order!

We are so pleased to announce that Joy Comes in the Morning is available for pre-order TOMORROW, March 1st!

Learn more below and click here to get the inside scoop about our adult coloring book for infant loss and miscarriage.

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Meet the artists! That's right! We teamed up with artists, friends, moms and dads from across the country who have experienced loss or have a heart for families who go through it. Together, we want to encourage and uplift anyone suffering the loss of a baby- from "chemical pregnancy" to stillbirth or death of an infant. One of my favorite things about this book is that it's a collection of all different styles. Some are artists and designers by trade and some for fun, we have Etsy shop owners, artistic dads, friends who simply believed in this project... and then there are just crafty moms like me and my bestie who wanted to share our hearts through a page or two. It's perfectly imperfect. And each and every page points to hope, to comfort, to Jesus.

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If you order March 1st, make sure and use our discount code "JOY20" to receive 20% off!

100% of the profit will go into I Am Fruitful so that we can continue creating programs and resources for this community. 

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Pregnancy Loss Journey Podcast

I'm so honored to have been interviewed by the lovely Christy of the Pregnancy Loss Journey Podcast.

In this episode I share briefly about our own delayed fertility and miscarriages. Here are a few things we dig into:

• choosing faith over fear
• hope in the waiting
• what do we have faith in?
• managing emotions
• accountability
• redemption for loss

 If you need a little hope in your struggle... have a listen.

Psalm 126:5-6 (NLT)

"Those who plant in tears
    will harvest with shouts of joy.
They weep as they go to plant their seed,
    but they sing as they return with the harvest."

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thoughts from a father on miscarriage

I'm so blessed to have a husband who not only supports me in the things I pursue, but who participates with me. Although you may hear more out of me, He's been actively working right alongside me in this ministry from the beginning. He loves the I Am Fruitful Community, he's constantly showing me a new perspective, and his heart for men and couples is inspiring. 

We experienced 3 miscarriages throughout our delayed fertility, and this is one life-changing thing that the Lord showed my husband as we battled with loneliness, difficult questions, and anger towards God. Now, from Billy...

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"I Know How You Feel" - God

If you're like me– you may have read this with a slightly sarcastic tone, or maybe you know it is SUPPOSED to be true but you haven't yet unlocked the mystery of truth that seems to be alluding your thoughts. 

I remember how angry I was when I was digging into the injustice of our 2nd miscarriage.  

I remember sitting down (the way I had historically approached prayer) and taking out the checklist of thoughts I had to build my case against the so called 'goodness' of God. 

Somehow deep down I wanted to be corrected. I wanted to have my perspective change the way He had shown me so many times before. Maybe because my anger blinded me or maybe because I was experiencing emotions on a level I hadn't experienced before, or both; I went in and out of those conversations without an answer and without a response that seemed to help me understand or bring me peace.

At the time I had all but given up trying to understand the how and why of miscarriage...  I had seemingly moved on and chalked it up as "something I just won't understand until I get to heaven," and that's when completely randomly– God downloaded this...

It started with an intense emotion of empathy–  as if I felt and connected with God before I understood fully what He was going to unpack. Then I stumbled onto this scripture.

“Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you.”

— Jeremiah 1:5

Then God hit me with this–  "I've had billions of miscarriages."

Wait...  huh???

The idea began to unfold...  He showed me that every time one of His children is born, they have the choice throughout their life of whether to spend eternity with their Father.  They have a choice to spend their life pursuing a relationship with Him or not. When they choose not to, they will be apart from Him for all of eternity. 

He loses them, but they aren't forgotten. 

We think of this verse, talking about the point of conception and even before it, that God the Father had us in mind. He knew us. And so, He also knows our children, even though we never will on this earth. Our children will be apart from us through our time on this earth, but we serve a Father who redeems. His perfect design unites us forever with not only our earthly children, but the children we haven't known.

God can change our perspective in a moment. I want to encourage you to pursue a conversation with Him in faith– that He is good, He understands, and He wants to comfort you...  

He knows how you feel...

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Lately on Instagram

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A Podcast Interview about Miscarriage, Grief, and Faith

I'm so honored to have been interviewed on the Holistic Fertility and Wellness Podcast with Stephanie Risinger. In this interview I share our personal story of loss and our struggle to conceive. We also discuss grief, faith, and I share valuable suggestions for how to support couples experiencing miscarriage.

Click HERE to listen and be encouraged! You are not alone.

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Share Your Story

Huckins

Pitter and Glink Perspective & a Freebie!

We are working so hard on a beautiful and inspiring adult coloring book for infant loss and miscarriage. We've put together a team of artists from across the nation to give grieving parents a tool for healing and meditating on God's truth.

I am so excited to give you a glimpse of the talent on our artist team for the this project. Bethany over at Pitter and Glink is one of our artists, and she has some serious God-given ability. I mean- does your Bible look like this??!

There's a link to a few free coloring pages below. Everyone thank Bethany!! Plus, check out her original instagram post for a great perspective on our fertility.

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Bethany's Original Instagram Post HERE

"As someone who has struggled with infertility for years, I always pay close attention to parts of the Bible where God blesses infertile women with children. I know their pain because I've felt it myself. One of the recent @shereadstruthGenesis Devotions was about God blessing Sarah, an old woman who had already gone through menopause, with a child. When the messenger of God told Abraham that Sarah would bear a child, she laughed. I get that. It was a laugh like, "That is the craziest thing I've ever heard! Me? An old lady? Have a child?" I feel like it was one of those cynical, joyless laughs. When your heart has known the disappointment of not being pregnant month after month after month, it's easy to become cynical that there could ever be a different outcome. But the messenger of the Lord said, "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" And I feel like this was said in that do-you-seriously-think-the-God-who-created-the-universe-can't-perform-this-miracle kind of voice. It's just that simple, y'all. Nothing is too hard for God. But the hard part for us is when He doesn't do that hard thing we've been praying for Him to do. It makes us doubt. It makes us angry. Sometimes it breaks our hearts. But He knows best. He sees the big picture, and He has a plan. We won't always get what we want when we want it. Christianity doesn't work that we. We get what we NEED exactly when we need it. And there will be tough times and there may even be what we view as unanswered prayers. This is earth after all, not heaven. But God is faithful through it all. He's on our side rooting for us like a loving father, and He's working things out for our good. Maybe not our good as in what we think is good and best, but His good, which is ALWAYS best." - Bethany

Check out Bethany's free coloring pages and printables HERE!

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LATELY ON INSTAGRAM

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5 Scriptures to Combat Fear of Miscarriage

5 Scriptures to Combat Fear of Miscarriage

Fear of miscarriage is a very real issue. We try for so long to get pregnant, then we finally, finally get that BFP!! And for a very brief moment we're over the moon, on cloud 9, and we're happier than EVER.

Then fear sets in. Fear that we will lose the baby, the connection, the life, the future. But that fear is from the enemy, and you will have to do something about it if you want to enjoy your pregnancy. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. It's a complete miracle in itself, and it CAN be enjoyed!! They say pregnant women have a "glow" about them. I have to say that I've never seen a fearful pregnant woman with a glow. The ones at peace have the glow!

So here are 5 scriptures to help you fight that fear and step into a season of peaceful pregnancy!

Philippians 4:6-7 MSG
Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Isaiah 43:2-4 MSG
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 MSG
Just as you’ll never understand
the mystery of life forming in a pregnant woman,
So you’ll never understand
the mystery at work in all that God does.

Psalm 139:13-18 AMP
For You formed my innermost parts;
You knit me [together] in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was being formed in secret,
And intricately and skillfully formed [as if embroidered with many colors] in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were appointed for me,
When as yet there was not one of them [even taking shape].
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I could count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake, I am still with You.

Ps 91:12 NLT
If you make the Lord your refuge,
if you make the Most High your shelter,
no evil will conquer you;
no plague will come near your home.
For he will order his angels
to protect you wherever you go.
They will hold you up with their hands
so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.

More scriptures in this post about miscarriage!

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Read the Huckins story below to hear about their loss and Lindsay's major light bulb moment that just might change your perspective on the family God wants to give you.

Huckins

Have you ever considered sharing your testimony? It's a powerful thing and we would love to read yours, then share it for others to be encouraged and filled with hope! Click below to learn more!

Share Your Story

Connect with us on INSTAGRAM @i.am.fruitful for daily encouragement!

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M is for Miscarriage

Back in the fall when I first started Periscope, I did a Fertility A-Z series. When we got to M is for Miscarriage, I shared a little about our own 3 losses. In the first few minutes I share statistics to bring awareness and also explain some of the different types of miscarriages, in case you are not familiar! 

Skip ahead to 7 minutes if you want to get to my story.

If you have experienced a miscarriage, you will be so ridiculously encouraged by something my dad sent me (skip ahead to the 21 minute mark). Ya'll, it's really good.

I also share a list of scriptures that brought me comfort during our time of grief, and I've listed them for you below! Check back soon, because I'll be posting a list of 5 scriptures to combat fear of miscarriage!

• Psalm 23
• Psalm 25
• Deut 20:3-4
• Psalm 9:9-10
• Isaiah 43:18-19

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Find us on INSTAGRAM @i.am.fruitful to receive daily encouragement!

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L is for Loss

So many people stay quiet about loss and miscarriage. We want you to know that you're not alone, that we know it's hard, and that you CAN and WILL get through this.

I remember it felt like the breath got knocked out of me when the (not so friendly) tech told me there was only one heartbeat. There were supposed to be two. Twins. Two boys to be exact. And now there was one. And my heart stopped. It was devastating. That was the first of 3 miscarriages, and I keep my story short because I'm writing this for you, not me. This is to help you through your time of loss and tears, and to help you navigate through it.

Here are a few tips (from a girl who's lost 3 precious babies) on how to get through a miscarriage. It's not all-inclusive. But these ideas may help set you in the right direction. There's light at the end of the tunnel, I promise you. Watch the video for the full content.

TIPS TO GET THROUGH MISCARRIAGE

1. Allow yourself to grieve. Miscarriage is downplayed so much in our culture. It's no wonder since we're living in a time and a place where we discard life like kitchen trash. But because loss of life is so completely downplayed by most of the world, we can feel ashamed for grieving (since, after all, "it's no big deal"). It IS a big deal. Grieve. And don't be ashamed. If you're grieving the loss of an infant, my heart breaks for you. Don't rush your grief or put a time frame on it.
2. Get help if you need it! There's NO shame in this! In fact, I commend you, dear friend!
3. Let this struggle bring you closer to your spouse. Communicate! Tell them what you need, specifically.
4. Receive support from friends and family. When they offer, say yes.
5. Don't lose hope in God or your promise!! God is good, and He is faithful!

“Blessed is she who believed that He would fulfill His promise to her.”

— Luke 1:45

Lately on Instagram

Believe Despite: A Story of Hope, Loss, & Extreme Faith

I sat down the other day with an amazing woman, Elisa Rumbo, who bravely shared her story with me. She struggled through 15 years of infertility, PCOS, 9 miscarriages, the devastating loss of her infant daughter, and yet she believed despite. She believed that the Lord would make her a mother!

If you are struggling with infertility or loss, you HAVE to hear her story. Her perspective is so wise, unique, and encouraging. She will, without a doubt, re-ignite your faith, remind you who our God is, and provide that extra jolt of hope you need to make it through the next hurdle in your own journey.

D is for Doubt

When I was in the middle of my fertility crisis, there were days I thought I could conquer the world... days I knew FOR SURE that we would get pregnant. Then, there were days that I felt doubt creep in...days I heard the enemy speaking through my thoughts, "I might never get pregnant," "what if I'm never a mom," "there's something wrong with me."

Well my husband and I decided one day to stop asking for our promises in a half-hearted, doubtful way, and to begin claiming the promises of God instead! We began thanking God in advance for the things we didn't see, and man, was that powerful. Please watch the 5 minute clip below for the original video.

As Thanksgiving approaches, it's a great time to begin thanking the Lord for the things you don't see happening yet, for the things you're trusting God for, for the baby you're hoping for. And, of course, fill your mind with truth and not lies by reading the word of God and tossing negative thoughts as far away as you can. Our thoughts are SO powerful, and can affect your health, emotions, and fertility!!

“When we implant God’s word into our minds through our thinking, we fill our brains with the powerful environmental influence of God’s love, which directly impacts our mental and physical health in a positive direction. Talk about a sound mind!”

— Dr. Caroline Leaf

Anytime doubt begins to creep in, anytime you begin thinking, "what if God doesn't do what He said He would," or "God is good but probably won't pull through for me," remind yourself who God is.

God is faithful. God is Holy. God is your Redeemer. God is merciful. God is your refuge and rock. He's your shield and your strength. God is your help. The Bible says He fights our battles for us. God is the one who comforts you. He's righteous. He's full of compassion. God is GOOD, and He will be good in your situation and your life. Don't doubt who He is or that He will be who He is in YOUR life and YOUR situation.

Say "I am Fruitful!!"