A poem from a daddy after miscarriage

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My husband, Billy, wrote this poem after our first miscarriage with our son, Levi.

Miscarriage is HARD for the moms. But it's hard for the dad's too! I hope this blesses a hurting daddy today.

To Levi
by Billy Bourne

There's no direction for my emotion

I'm confused on what to feel...

A hurt without a name 

But, a hurt I can't conceal.

You’ll never see a day begin

A life without a breath

Innocence that knows no sin

My wife's spirit without rest

I'll never recognize your mother

Behind the smiles of your eye

I know you only by your heartbeat

And by your name - Levi

 Your eyes will never open

 Your hands will never hold

 Your lips will never kiss

 Your story never told

You will never say you love me

I'll never see you wed

I'll never make you pancakes

Or carry you to bed

 

 I'll never make you laugh

 I'll never let you win

 I'll never pick you up

 I'll never tuck you in

I'll never hold you in my arms

I'll never hear you cry

I'm blind to see your face

There's no answer to the - why?


So I sat down with the lord

And asked him to help me see

Why he would let this happen

Here's what he said to me:

 

Like a son that I've created

Who never knew me while on earth

Eternal separation from me    

Like your son without his birth


 
They will never know my love

Or who I created them to be

Lost forever and unknown

Their true identity a mystery


But, my grace is SO sufficient

Your broken heart I clearly see

But on the day you see my face

You'll see Levi standing next to me


 
I'll be your voice, I'll be your dad

And I'll love and pray for you

Until the day I see the Father

And the first day I see you


Get Involved and GIVE Today!

I'm so thrilled to announce that we have opened up a GIVING option on our website! Many of you have asked how you can support us, and although there are many ways, now you can support our ministry financially!

I've never been good at asking for money. Whether it was raising support for a mission trip or asking for help for something else. So although this is a huge stretch for me to open our non-profit up for receiving donations, it's not about me! (I mean, get over myself, right?!) When people are asking how and where they can give... it's time to make it possible! This ministry is something God put on our hearts, and we trust that He'll take care of every financial need. If He wants us to begin or expand a new project, we are confident that He will provide for it!! 

I want to share one of the things that the Lord has put on our hearts at I Am Fruitful. We have a dream that anytime we receive news of a miscarriage or infant loss (and it's truly sad how often this happens), we could send a small but meaningful support package in the mail to the grieving mom or couple. We want to let them know that someone cares, that there's a community of people (YOU) that desires to support them, that they are not alone, and that they WILL get through this! Visions of our support package include a signed letter acknowledging their loss, a small gift, scriptures and resources to help get through the difficult time. And if funding becomes available, we'd love to send them Joy Comes in the Morning: Coloring Through Infant Loss and Miscarriage!

That's just one of the many ways your financial contribution will support couples in a tangible way! 

give today

Thank you for giving today! ANY amount is appreciated! I love the wording of Deuteronomy 16:17 in the Message Version, "each man must bring as much as he can manage, giving generously in response to the blessings of God, your God." Each person should give as they are able, and according to what he has to give. Your gift will help to bring hope and healing to families! 

We don't give in order to receive, of course. However, Billy and I (Lauren) pray a special blessing on each and every gift that is given. The Bible says to give and it will be given to you! We pray that your generosity would be blessed 10 times over and that we would be excellent stewards of each financial contribution received. We're dreamers, my friends! We have big dreams of what we can do, and quite honestly, if God wants to bring those dreams to life, the money will never get in the way! So, if you feel led to give, I pray you are blessed immensely! If you want to support or get involved in other ways, this list will get you going in the right direction:

WAYS TO GET INVOLVED!

  • IDEAS: Send us YOUR ideas! We're open to product ideas as well as ideas for how to serve you and this community. Email lauren@iamfruitful.org
  • VOLUNTEER: Do you have administrative or graphics skills as well as the free time to offer support? We're looking for volunteers to help with day-to-day tasks! Email lauren@iamfruitful.org
  • TESTIMONY: Share your testimony for our "Stories" page HERE!
  • CONTENT: We're always open to new content (blog posts, songs, sermons, anything) that might encourage this community! Send it over! Email lauren@iamfruitful.org 
  • COLLABORATE: Have an Etsy Shop, small business, or organization and want to work together? We LOVE collaborating, speaking, and teaching!! Click HERE!
  • RETREATS: We are looking at retreat locations across the U.S. If you have a summer or rental property that you're willing to let us use, please contact us! (Really, you'll be our best friend) Email lauren@iamfruitful.org
  • COLORING BOOK: Coming SOON! If you have a store or business and would like to sell these, let us know! Email lauren@iamfruitful.org
  • GIVEAWAYS: Donate a product or service for a Giveaway! We'd be honored to facilitate this! Click HERE!

Thanks again for supporting us financially and getting involved!

*If you are giving an amount larger than $100 please email lauren@iamfruitful.org for instructions on how to give.

Give today!

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A Podcast Interview about Miscarriage, Grief, and Faith

I'm so honored to have been interviewed on the Holistic Fertility and Wellness Podcast with Stephanie Risinger. In this interview I share our personal story of loss and our struggle to conceive. We also discuss grief, faith, and I share valuable suggestions for how to support couples experiencing miscarriage.

Click HERE to listen and be encouraged! You are not alone.


 

 

M is for Miscarriage

Back in the fall when I first started Periscope, I did a Fertility A-Z series. When we got to M is for Miscarriage, I shared a little about our own 3 losses. In the first few minutes I share statistics to bring awareness and also explain some of the different types of miscarriages, in case you are not familiar! 

Skip ahead to 7 minutes if you want to get to my story.

If you have experienced a miscarriage, you will be so ridiculously encouraged by something my dad sent me (skip ahead to the 21 minute mark). Ya'll, it's really good.

I also share a list of scriptures that brought me comfort during our time of grief, and I've listed them for you below! Check back soon, because I'll be posting a list of 5 scriptures to combat fear of miscarriage!

  • Psalm 23
  • Psalm 25
  • Deut 20:3-4
  • Psalm 9:9-10
  • Isaiah 43:18-19

Find us on INSTAGRAM @i.am.fruitful to receive daily encouragement!


L is for Loss

So many people stay quiet about loss and miscarriage. We want you to know that you're not alone, that we know it's hard, and that you CAN and WILL get through this.

I remember it felt like the breath got knocked out of me when the (not so friendly) tech told me there was only one heartbeat. There were supposed to be two. Twins. Two boys to be exact. And now there was one. And my heart stopped. It was devastating. That was the first of 3 miscarriages, and I keep my story short because I'm writing this for you, not me. This is to help you through your time of loss and tears, and to help you navigate through it.

Here are a few tips (from a girl who's lost 3 precious babies) on how to get through a miscarriage. It's not all-inclusive. But these ideas may help set you in the right direction. There's light at the end of the tunnel, I promise you. Watch the video for the full content.

TIPS TO GET THROUGH MISCARRIAGE

  1. Allow yourself to grieve. Miscarriage is downplayed so much in our culture. It's no wonder since we're living in a time and a place where we discard life like kitchen trash. But because loss of life is so completely downplayed by most of the world, we can feel ashamed for grieving (since, after all, "it's no big deal"). It IS a big deal. Grieve. And don't be ashamed. If you're grieving the loss of an infant, my heart breaks for you. Don't rush your grief or put a time frame on it.
  2. Get help if you need it! There's NO shame in this! In fact, I commend you, dear friend!
  3. Let this struggle bring you closer to your spouse. Communicate! Tell them what you need, specifically.
  4. Receive support from friends and family. When they offer, say yes.
  5. Don't lose hope in God or your promise!! God is good, and He is faithful!
Blessed is she who believed that He would fulfill His promise to her.
— Luke 1:45

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