D is for Doubt

When I was in the middle of my fertility crisis, there were days I thought I could conquer the world... days I knew FOR SURE that we would get pregnant. Then, there were days that I felt doubt creep in...days I heard the enemy speaking through my thoughts, "I might never get pregnant," "what if I'm never a mom," "there's something wrong with me."

Well my husband and I decided one day to stop asking for our promises in a half-hearted, doubtful way, and to begin claiming the promises of God instead! We began thanking God in advance for the things we didn't see, and man, was that powerful. Please watch the 5 minute clip below for the original video.

As Thanksgiving approaches, it's a great time to begin thanking the Lord for the things you don't see happening yet, for the things you're trusting God for, for the baby you're hoping for. And, of course, fill your mind with truth and not lies by reading the word of God and tossing negative thoughts as far away as you can. Our thoughts are SO powerful, and can affect your health, emotions, and fertility!!

When we implant God’s word into our minds through our thinking, we fill our brains with the powerful environmental influence of God’s love, which directly impacts our mental and physical health in a positive direction. Talk about a sound mind!
— Dr. Caroline Leaf

Anytime doubt begins to creep in, anytime you begin thinking, "what if God doesn't do what He said He would," or "God is good but probably won't pull through for me," remind yourself who God is.

God is faithful. God is Holy. God is your Redeemer. God is merciful. God is your refuge and rock. He's your shield and your strength. God is your help. The Bible says He fights our battles for us. God is the one who comforts you. He's righteous. He's full of compassion. God is GOOD, and He will be good in your situation and your life. Don't doubt who He is or that He will be who He is in YOUR life and YOUR situation.

Say "I am Fruitful!!"

Tips for Dealing with (B)advice & Nosy Questions

Does it make it easier that you've been pregnant before? When are you going to have kids? Do you want kids? Are you going to have more kids? My friend adopted and then got pregnant! There are so many questions people ask, statements they make, and horrible advice they give (I call this "badvice"). For some reason, people think they have the right to know these things. We're curious, right? I used to ask these same questions, not in any way realizing what I was doing. I wanted to know!! I wanted to know if they had kids, and if so how many, and if only 1 then why? People WILL ask you these things. Someone will absolutely say something that makes your heart race and brings out the not-so-good in you. Are you prepared? Do you have the words to say, and is your heart aligned with the truth? How will you respond verbally and in your thoughts?

My desire for you is that you will ask yourself and the Lord these questions. He will talk with you! He'll give you direction and wisdom if you just ask.

A few tips to preparing your heart for "Badvice"

1. Control your thoughts.

Luke 1:45 tells us that "out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." The Message version puts it this way, "Your true being brims over into words and deeds." Whatever we think about, dwell on, worry about WILL come out of our mouths.

Phil 4:8 says "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

You can change your thoughts, which can actually change your physical brain and body, according to Dr. Caroline Leaf. You can control what you think about!! One quick way to do that is to replace any negative thought with the Word of God! Just open your Bible or your Bible app and start reading and confessing truth. Your thoughts will fall into line with truth, your attitude will adjust, and your words will follow.

2. Have a response ready! Memorize it!

Don't worry, you will not sound like a robot. Get out a pen and paper and write down a few responses to some of these questions. Simply, be prepared. For instance, when someone asks you if you are ever going to start have kids. Instead of angrily telling them, "um, yeah, little do you know, we've been trying for 5 years, have lost babies, and you have NO idea what we've been through," you might try another approach, something more of a confession, something life-producing. "We are believing for children and can't wait to be parents, but it's a very private thing for us." You decide what you say! Make it yours, but be prepared.

You can see the "BADvice List" HERE and use that as reference if you need to. In that list, I also share the lie the enemy is trying to get you to believe (for each question asked). So, decide what you will say in response and what you will believe! If you're prepared, each invasive and nosy question will be a victory for you! .

3. Confess and meditate on Truth.

It's one thing to open your Bible and read or pray. It's another to actually meditate and confess outloud what God says, who He says you are, the things He has for you, His promises, who God is, and the list goes on! There's so much power in that! Have you ever worried about anything? Great!! Then you know how to meditate! Find a great scripture that lifts you up and gives you strength and DWELL on it! Say it outloud. Put it up on your mirror, in your car, on your fridge, and say it outloud every time you see it!

Here are a few to get you started!

  • Psalm 145:18-19 AMP "The Lord is near to all who call on Him, To all who call on Him in truth (without guile). He will fulfill the desire of those who fear and worship Him [with awe-inspired reverence and obedience]; He also will hear their cry and will save them."
  • Psalm 3:3 ESV "But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."
  • Psalm 1:3 ESV "He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season,  and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers."
  • Eph 2:10 NLT " For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."
  • Gen 1:28 NLT "Then God blessed them and said, 'Be fruitful and multiply'..."
  • Prov 31:25NLT " She is clothed with strength and dignity,  and she laughs without fear of the future."

Now, when someone asks you a super invasive and nosy question, when the next person tells you your clock is ticking, when a friend announces she's pregnant... your thoughts will be in line with God's Word. You will have control over your tongue, and what comes out will line up with your heart. Don't forget to say, "I am fruitful!"