A poem from a daddy after miscarriage

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My husband, Billy, wrote this poem after our first miscarriage with our son, Levi.

Miscarriage is HARD for the moms. But it's hard for the dad's too! I hope this blesses a hurting daddy today.

To Levi
by Billy Bourne

There's no direction for my emotion

I'm confused on what to feel...

A hurt without a name 

But, a hurt I can't conceal.

You’ll never see a day begin

A life without a breath

Innocence that knows no sin

My wife's spirit without rest

I'll never recognize your mother

Behind the smiles of your eye

I know you only by your heartbeat

And by your name - Levi

 Your eyes will never open

 Your hands will never hold

 Your lips will never kiss

 Your story never told

You will never say you love me

I'll never see you wed

I'll never make you pancakes

Or carry you to bed

 

 I'll never make you laugh

 I'll never let you win

 I'll never pick you up

 I'll never tuck you in

I'll never hold you in my arms

I'll never hear you cry

I'm blind to see your face

There's no answer to the - why?


So I sat down with the lord

And asked him to help me see

Why he would let this happen

Here's what he said to me:

 

Like a son that I've created

Who never knew me while on earth

Eternal separation from me    

Like your son without his birth


 
They will never know my love

Or who I created them to be

Lost forever and unknown

Their true identity a mystery


But, my grace is SO sufficient

Your broken heart I clearly see

But on the day you see my face

You'll see Levi standing next to me


 
I'll be your voice, I'll be your dad

And I'll love and pray for you

Until the day I see the Father

And the first day I see you


A Podcast Interview about Miscarriage, Grief, and Faith

I'm so honored to have been interviewed on the Holistic Fertility and Wellness Podcast with Stephanie Risinger. In this interview I share our personal story of loss and our struggle to conceive. We also discuss grief, faith, and I share valuable suggestions for how to support couples experiencing miscarriage.

Click HERE to listen and be encouraged! You are not alone.


 

 

H is for Have Fun!

This is a super short and spontaneous video from my Fertility A-Z series. Honestly, I was going to share about something completely different that day, and I felt the Lord reminding me of something so important. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our problems, our situation, our desires and needs... that we forget to enjoy the season we're in, no matter what it looks like.

Read more

Periscope Purpose

Hey guys! Do you know that I share encouragement, almost daily, for couples trying to conceive and dealing with loss? It's uplifting and always God's truth! 

I wanted to share the very first Periscope video I did so you can catch the vision and understand why I began doing this in the first place. Unfortunately, it does not come with comments and hearts, because at that point, I didn't know how to save the videos that way. But the point is, you can catch the vision for this whole project!

I want to personally invite you to join me LIVE. The cool thing is you can comment, ask questions, and get involved in the fertility discussions! If you want to join us, download PERISCOPE for iPhone or Android (or you can watch the daily replay on your Mac or pc at http://www.periscope.tv/laurenbourne). Lots of husbands tune in as well! It's a great way to let your husband in on this piece of your world. I share almost daily, and my aim is to always be encouraging and to always share truth. I remember when I was going through the toughest part of my struggle, I needed encouragement ALL the time! You are not alone!

Daily Encouragement through Infertility and Miscarriage (Periscipe- @LaurenBourne)