Going through infertility or loss? Share this with your family...

I'm so excited to introduce you to my amazing mom, Pam Grosse. I'm so thankful to her for sharing her heart during National Infertility Awareness Week. If you're going through infertility or loss and your family just doesn't seem to understand... send this to them. It's a great way to get a conversation started! Chances are they WANT to be there for you, they just may not know how!! And most likely, they don't have any idea how you feel or how hard this is!! I'll be following up this post soon with a list of ways to support family members going through delayed fertility.


Written by: Pam Grosse

I have never experienced the excruciating loss of an infant or child, or had a miscarriage, or spent years of waiting, hoping, and praying that I would become pregnant.  Nor have I dealt with the stress that can manifest in a marriage when any of these things have occurred.  But, I am the mother of someone who has endured several miscarriages, has spent hours in doctors’ offices, waited and waited and waited for months to conceive only to receive disappointing news, and probably cried buckets of tears.  Sadly, most young women or couples in that position feel very alone and frustrated – and many get depressed.  What is even sadder is that the people around them don’t even know how that person is feeling.  Not even family.  Not even Mom.  That is why I am so thrilled to see I Am Fruitful reaching so many lives and helping so many to heal and have hope.

Lauren & Pam

When my daughter, Lauren Bourne, and her husband, Billy, started I Am Fruitful I was so happy to know that even though they had already had one baby and another would soon be on the way, they wanted to reach out to couples like themselves who were going through similar situations.  There just wasn’t much out there for them when they were going through a tough time, so before they even received their first miracle, God began speaking to them to begin their ministry to women and couples who were going through similar situations or even worse.

As Lauren’s ministry began taking shape I began to realize just how much my daughter hadn’t been able to share with me and how much pain she and Billy had experienced.  Even though Lauren and Billy have a solid marriage with God at the center, they suffered heartache that people who are not in their situation will ever understand.  I thought that because I had such a great son-in-law, he would be there for Lauren and she would be there for him, and I just needed to let them be alone.  Time would heal their wounds. Besides, her dad and I lived 4 ½ hours away, so I would just pray and trust God to answer.  Sadly, they felt very alone with little support.  They were experiencing deep pain and hopelessness and very few people knew what they were going through or how to help.  I believe that most family members or friends who have never gone through a long season of waiting to get pregnant, suffered miscarriage, or even worse – the loss of an infant, will ever fully comprehend what someone going through any of those events truly feels.

Fast forward to two precious gifts (my grandchildren) from God and a ministry that is reaching out to couples who are hurting – just like Lauren and Billy were hurting.  And it all comes down to them surrendering their hearts completely to their heavenly Father, believing that His word to us is true, that His ways and thoughts are much higher than ours, and His plans for His children are  great – to give them a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).  Now, there is a wonderful place to connect with others who are trying to conceive or have suffered an immeasurable loss – a safe place where they can share from the depths of their heart and find resources to help in such a difficult season of grief or waiting.

I now have a much greater understanding of what my children went through with delayed fertility and multiple miscarriages, and I feel honored to be part of the prayer team at I Am Fruitful.  We are here to be a voice to God on behalf of those who are unable to express theirs or for those who need someone to stand with them for their dreams and desires to be met.

You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!  
— John 14:13-14 (NLT)

My heart goes out to every person who writes in, and although I am not connecting with them on a personal basis, I am interceding on their behalf, thanking our faithful heavenly Father for hearing every prayer and for bringing every answer.  I have already heard many happy stories of what God has done in so many lives, and I want to encourage anyone reading this who is going through a difficult time to press into God and let Him take your burden and pain in exchange for His peace, joy, and healing.  

No matter where you are right now, God knows it, He sees it, and He is there to comfort you, strengthen you, and give you hope – even in the midst of what may be a very dark time.  Joy truly does come in the morning, because the Lord’s mercies are new every morning – and He will never leave you alone.  EXPECT His faithfulness in your life!

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.  
— Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

Lauren, here! Can I just tell you how amazing this woman is?? This woman I get to call Mom. The one who drives over 4 hours to babysit. The one who always reminds me it's okay to be a little feisty. The one who has encouraged me over the decades to pursue my dreams. 

She may have downplayed her involvement during our waiting season. She and my dad may not have understood, but they were CONSTANTLY encouraging me, sending me emails, shooting me texts with scripture, calling, asking how I was, reminding me that God is bigger. I'm so grateful to have a supportive and Christ-centered family, and I say we need to make Mom's writing a regular thing around here!


Donate

Check out OUR IDEAS for raising awareness and getting involved during National Infertility Awareness Week! It's not too late!

Lately on Instagram:

The Bourne's share about their new book... RELEASING TODAY!

WATCH BELOW TO HEAR A LITTLE ABOUT THE BOOK,  OUR HEART FOR THIS PROJECT, AND WHAT WE HOPE THIS BOOK WILL ACCOMPLISH.

BIG THANKS TO CHRIS STETSON FOR THE VIDEO.


A poem from a daddy after miscarriage

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My husband, Billy, wrote this poem after our first miscarriage with our son, Levi.

Miscarriage is HARD for the moms. But it's hard for the dad's too! I hope this blesses a hurting daddy today.

To Levi
by Billy Bourne

There's no direction for my emotion

I'm confused on what to feel...

A hurt without a name 

But, a hurt I can't conceal.

You’ll never see a day begin

A life without a breath

Innocence that knows no sin

My wife's spirit without rest

I'll never recognize your mother

Behind the smiles of your eye

I know you only by your heartbeat

And by your name - Levi

 Your eyes will never open

 Your hands will never hold

 Your lips will never kiss

 Your story never told

You will never say you love me

I'll never see you wed

I'll never make you pancakes

Or carry you to bed

 

 I'll never make you laugh

 I'll never let you win

 I'll never pick you up

 I'll never tuck you in

I'll never hold you in my arms

I'll never hear you cry

I'm blind to see your face

There's no answer to the - why?


So I sat down with the lord

And asked him to help me see

Why he would let this happen

Here's what he said to me:

 

Like a son that I've created

Who never knew me while on earth

Eternal separation from me    

Like your son without his birth


 
They will never know my love

Or who I created them to be

Lost forever and unknown

Their true identity a mystery


But, my grace is SO sufficient

Your broken heart I clearly see

But on the day you see my face

You'll see Levi standing next to me


 
I'll be your voice, I'll be your dad

And I'll love and pray for you

Until the day I see the Father

And the first day I see you


Joy Comes in the Morning is AVAILABLE TOMORROW for Pre-Order!

We are so pleased to announce that Joy Comes in the Morning is available for pre-order TOMORROW, March 1st!

Learn more below and click here to get the inside scoop about our adult coloring book for infant loss and miscarriage.

Meet the artists! That's right! We teamed up with artists, friends, moms and dads from across the country who have experienced loss or have a heart for families who go through it. Together, we want to encourage and uplift anyone suffering the loss of a baby- from "chemical pregnancy" to stillbirth or death of an infant. One of my favorite things about this book is that it's a collection of all different styles. Some are artists and designers by trade and some for fun, we have Etsy shop owners, artistic dads, friends who simply believed in this project... and then there are just crafty moms like me and my bestie who wanted to share our hearts through a page or two. It's perfectly imperfect. And each and every page points to hope, to comfort, to Jesus.

If you order March 1st, make sure and use our discount code "JOY20" to receive 20% off!

100% of the profit will go into I Am Fruitful so that we can continue creating programs and resources for this community. 


Pregnancy Loss Journey Podcast

I'm so honored to have been interviewed by the lovely Christy of the Pregnancy Loss Journey Podcast.

In this episode I share briefly about our own delayed fertility and miscarriages. Here are a few things we dig into:

  • choosing faith over fear
  • hope in the waiting
  • what do we have faith in?
  • managing emotions
  • accountability
  • redemption for loss

 If you need a little hope in your struggle... have a listen.

Psalm 126:5-6 (NLT)

"Those who plant in tears
    will harvest with shouts of joy.
They weep as they go to plant their seed,
    but they sing as they return with the harvest."



A Podcast Interview about Miscarriage, Grief, and Faith

I'm so honored to have been interviewed on the Holistic Fertility and Wellness Podcast with Stephanie Risinger. In this interview I share our personal story of loss and our struggle to conceive. We also discuss grief, faith, and I share valuable suggestions for how to support couples experiencing miscarriage.

Click HERE to listen and be encouraged! You are not alone.


 

 

6 Tips to Overcome Fear

We've been going through a series on our live streams about overcoming fear. You can check those videos out HERE! Today, I want to share some of the things the Lord has been showing me lately as I've been going to Him in prayer and researching for this series! If you sneak a scroll... don't freak out! It's long, I know. But it's long because I've included whole CHAPTERS from His Word! Feel free to use this in your quiet time the next few days and meditate on these scriptures!

1. Delight in His Word

This is seriously an amazing chapter to meditate on if you’re dealing with what ifs or maybe having a difficult time aligning your heart with God’s. I love this chapter so much that I've included it below for you in 2 versions!

Psalm 112 (NLT)

Praise the Lord!

How joyful are those who fear the Lord
    and delight in obeying his commands.
2 Their children will be successful everywhere;
    an entire generation of godly people will be blessed.
3 They themselves will be wealthy,
    and their good deeds will last forever.
4 Light shines in the darkness for the godly.
    They are generous, compassionate, and righteous.
5 Good comes to those who lend money generously
    and conduct their business fairly.
6 Such people will not be overcome by evil.
    Those who are righteous will be long remembered.
7 They do not fear bad news;
    they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.
8 They are confident and fearless
    and can face their foes triumphantly.
9 They share freely and give generously to those in need.
    Their good deeds will be remembered forever.
    They will have influence and honor.
10 The wicked will see this and be infuriated.
    They will grind their teeth in anger;
    they will slink away, their hopes thwarted.

Psalm 112 (ESV)

[a] Praise the Lord!

Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,
    who greatly delights in his commandments!
2 His offspring will be mighty in the land;
    the generation of the upright will be blessed.
3 Wealth and riches are in his house,
    and his righteousness endures forever.
4 Light dawns in the darkness for the upright;
    he is gracious, merciful, and righteous.
5 It is well with the man who deals generously and lends;
    who conducts his affairs with justice.
6 For the righteous will never be moved;
    he will be remembered forever.
7 He is not afraid of bad news;
    his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.
8 His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,
    until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.
9 He has distributed freely; he has given to the poor;
    his righteousness endures forever;
    his horn is exalted in honor.
10 The wicked man sees it and is angry;
    he gnashes his teeth and melts away;
    the desire of the wicked will perish!


2. Seek wisdom & understanding

Really no need for me to explain this one. Read below to understand!

Proverbs 3 The Message (MSG)

Don’t Assume You Know It All

3 1-2 Good friend, don’t forget all I’ve taught you;
    take to heart my commands.
They’ll help you live a long, long time,
    a long life lived full and well.

3-4 Don’t lose your grip on Love and Loyalty.
    Tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart.
Earn a reputation for living well
    in God’s eyes and the eyes of the people.

5-12 Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
    Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
    your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
    give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
    your wine vats will brim over.
But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;
    don’t sulk under his loving correction.
It’s the child he loves that God corrects;
    a father’s delight is behind all this.

The Very Tree of Life

13-18 You’re blessed when you meet Lady Wisdom,
    when you make friends with Madame Insight.
She’s worth far more than money in the bank;
    her friendship is better than a big salary.
Her value exceeds all the trappings of wealth;
    nothing you could wish for holds a candle to her.
With one hand she gives long life,
    with the other she confers recognition.
Her manner is beautiful,
    her life wonderfully complete.
She’s the very Tree of Life to those who embrace her.
    Hold her tight—and be blessed!

19-20 With Lady Wisdom, God formed Earth;
    with Madame Insight, he raised Heaven.
They knew when to signal rivers and springs to the surface,
    and dew to descend from the night skies.

Never Walk Away

21-26 Dear friend, guard Clear Thinking and Common Sense with your life;
    don’t for a minute lose sight of them.
They’ll keep your soul alive and well,
    they’ll keep you fit and attractive.
You’ll travel safely,
    you’ll neither tire nor trip.
You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry,
    you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep.
No need to panic over alarms or surprises,
    or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner,
Because God will be right there with you;
    he’ll keep you safe and sound.

27-29 Never walk away from someone who deserves help;
    your hand is God’s hand for that person.
Don’t tell your neighbor “Maybe some other time”
    or “Try me tomorrow”
    when the money’s right there in your pocket.
Don’t figure ways of taking advantage of your neighbor
    when he’s sitting there trusting and unsuspecting.

30-32 Don’t walk around with a chip on your shoulder,
    always spoiling for a fight.
Don’t try to be like those who shoulder their way through life.
    Why be a bully?
“Why not?” you say. Because God can’t stand twisted souls.
    It’s the straightforward who get his respect.

33-35 God’s curse blights the house of the wicked,
    but he blesses the home of the righteous.
He gives proud skeptics a cold shoulder,
    but if you’re down on your luck, he’s right there to help.
Wise living gets rewarded with honor;
    stupid living gets the booby prize.


3. Declare your Strength

Bill Johnson says, “Our deliverance begins when we are no longer impressed with the size of our problem. Declare your strength and watch it become a reality. Some people are only a declaration away from victory! He put His Word in your mouth- declare it!”

Another thing I've learned from good 'ole Bill is this- “strength becomes a reality when it’s declared!”


4. Fix your Eyes

I was so blessed to be invited to a worship conference (Presence 2016) in Austin this past weekend. Kim Walker-Smith shared such a personal story about her struggle with fear. She was basically crippled with fear while she was pregnant with her second child. Right before she became pregnant, her good friend's baby died of a horrible disease. Then, near the end of her pregnancy, another friend delivered a stillborn baby. She found herself screaming at night and completely paralyzed by the fear that something was wrong or something would happen to her precious child. Quoting scripture didn’t seem to help, praying didn’t seem to remove the fear (can anyone relate here?). But she knew she had to deal with it because she didn’t want to deliver a baby with this hanging over her head.

Then she FIXED HER EYES ON GOD.  She said, “When you fix your eyes on God, your issues don’t go away, but they don’t have control over you anymore." She also reminded us that our eyes and ears are so important if we are to be carriers of His presence and stay in alignment with Him.

One of the best things I took away from her message was this- “To be filled up means there is a constant pouring in so there is a constant pouring out.”

Put on blinders, and fix your eyes on Jesus, my friends.


5. Serve Someone

I’m a big believer in planting seeds in the area you need a harvest. There’s always someone worse off than you. Do you need a financial breakthrough? Sow whatever you can to someone worse off. I mean- true story- last night I got a call from a friend which resulted in me pouring through my pantry, fridge, and freezer to give to a mom who literally did not have any food and couldn’t feed her kids. Always someone worse off.

Is it time to stop relying on other peoples generosity and begin cultivating a generous spirit in your own family? Finances will turn around for you. If you want a baby… pray for your friend who can’t conceive. Happily send her a note letting her know you’re praying for her. Need healing? Pray for someone else who’s believing for healing.

Point being- serve someone else.


6. Praise God

Yep, even in the fear. Even in the storm. Praise Him. Thank Him.

Thank Him for what He's already done for you. Thank Him for what He's doing and for what He's going to do. And Praise Him for who He is!

Psalm 50:14-15 New Living Translation (NLT)

14 Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,
    and keep the vows you made to the Most High.
15 Then call on me when you are in trouble,
    and I will rescue you,
    and you will give me glory.”



Lately on Instagram

Free NIAW Graphics!

Hi friends!! If you know me, you know that my husband and I Struggled to conceive all our kiddos (2 on earth and 3 in Heaven). Infertility hits home with me because we spent so many years "in the thick of it." From labels to diagnoses to miscarriage... It was a HARD journey.  

National Infertility Awareness Week is April 24-30 this year, and to help bring awareness to infertility, we've created these free graphics for you to use on social media! Just save, then upload to Instagram or wherever you hangout!

I have one reservation about this whole NIAW. I feel like we could easily get bogged down by the word "infertility." But I want to encourage you that just because you don't have a child yet, does not mean you are infertile yet! We serve a miracle-working God! If you know me by now, you know what's coming next- confess life over your situation and say "I am fruitful." God told us to "be fruitful and multiply!" He desires for us to make babies and grow our families and serve Him through it all!

You'll notice that a couple of the graphics actually say "I am fruitful." This is for ladies who have had children and also for those who have not! This is a confession, a change in perspective, a decision about who you are. Feel free to use #iamfruitful in your post.  Let's support each other, encourage each other, and raise awareness together!

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Lately on Instagram:


Gird Your Loins: You are Flawless

If it seems silly including God in every little detail of your health, I want to ask you this- If God gave you a free detailed health plan that included a personalized workout calendar, a detailed cookbook that changed as you did, and a roadmap for mental and spiritual health, wouldn't you JUMP on that? Of course you would, because you would know that doing whatever the Holy Spirit led you to do would be the perfect plan and far better than anything you could create for yourself! So, now I want to encourage you to ask Him about your physical fitness.

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Christmas Prayer for the Future Mommy

My heart has been so burdened for future mommy's. I've been seeing so much pain and obvious heartache all over social media, and I feel led to pray for the mother that so deeply desires a child. The woman who is a mommy in her heart, but hasn't held her child yet. I can so vividly recall the same emotions that you are no doubt feeling if you're struggling to conceive- jealousy, confusion, joy, sadness, fear, doubt, anger (this list goes on...and on...).   If you are struggling with infertility or loss, I am praying this prayer for you. I hope you can read this like I've sent you a personal message. Because I have. You are so important. God sees you. He hears you. He has great things in store for you, and He will pull through for you!

May He make you extremely fruitful!
— Lauren Bourne

Lord, I thank you so much for this precious woman who so deeply desires to conceive. God you have given her that desire and I ask that you would not be slow in fulfilling your promise to her. God, show her your compassion and wrap her in your arms this holiday season. Catch every tear that falls, and then comfort her in a tangible way. As she sees pictures of families with babies, pregnancy announcements, stockings hung up in a row, and Santa pictures from the mall... as she feels that twinge of longing over and over, would you please give her a peace that surpasses all understanding. Would you show her how to protect her heart and her mind. Give her the tools she needs to not just trudge through this season , but to enjoy this time. Give her something to cling to- a word, a vision, a hope, a picture of her future. Make it clear to her that it's you.

Lord, you have not given this sweeet woman a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. Would you replace her fears with your perfect love. Please show her how to throw that fear, worry, and anxiety right out the window. Show her and put the right people in her life to lift her up and encourage her. When she feels like her hormones, moods, and emotions are out of control- please help her to manage them and give her grace when she can't. If she gets another negative pregnancy result, would you be with her on that day, comfort her, and then give her more hope than she has seen before. Show her husband how to support her as well.

God, as this journey to motherhood has no doubt affected her marriage, would you please raise up her husband as the head of their home. Show him how he can love her and support her and encourage her in ways that show your love for us. Mold him into the leader that you have called him to be. Shape him into the strong man of God that you have placed as the leader of their growing family. Any confusion that has come in, I ask that you would take it away and replace it with peace, clarity, and a sincere understanding. Give them both a renewed sense of longing for each other, a deeply replenished desire, a rekindled romance built on your truth and love. Place mentors and Godly men in her husband's life and then give him ears to hear and a willingness to learn.

Lord, I ask that you would remind this precious woman of the things you've already done for her, and give her the hope she needs to press on. I pray that any thought that is from the enemy would be thrown out and that you would give her the strength to hold every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Any diagnosis she has received- show her what you have to say about it. Make yourself evident as her healer. Lord, if she is struggling with anger, even anger towards you, would you work gently in her heart and reveal to her where you were during the toughest moments. Those moments she was on her knees in tears, those moments she was curled up in a ball crying, those moments she was yelling, and those moments she felt nothing at all. Where were you, Lord? Please show her as she seeks you for answers.  God, I thank you that where any type of confidence has been lost, that you would restore self-esteem, hope, and a complete trust in you. God, if she has had to go through miscarriage or loss of any kind, would you please show her specifically how to pursue healing for her heart, soul, and body. As you put the pieces of her heart together, I pray that her relationship with you and with her husband would be strengthened in the process. I thank you for full and complete emotional healing. Would you show her friends and family how to lift her up and comfort her, how to support her in ways that heal and not make things worse. Give them wisdom about when and how to support her, give them fresh ideas along with the willingness to carry them out.

God, I praise your name. You are so good. You are faithful and I believe you will be faithful in this woman's life. You are jealous, and you desire a deep and intimate relationship with her. Show her what that looks like as she pursues you. I believe you will work gently within her heart and heal the broken pieces, restore lost time, and provide hope for her family's future.

God, make yourself so clear to her. Reveal yourself to her in mighty ways- ways that give her hope for tomorrow, ways that bring her peace, ways that draw her to your side, ways that inspire her desire for more of you. God, would you lavish your favor on her life. Open up doors for her, pour out blessings on her, and bring her into a brighter and more fulfilling season. Prepare her heart for the miracle that you want to perform in her life, in her marriage, in her fertility, and in her family. Lord, I declare that her victory is on the horizon and that anything that is trying to come against that victory will be stopped immediately. Shelter her from the enemy. Give her the best of care, get her out of any trouble, and as she makes YOU her refuge- evil won't be able to get near her. Send your angels to guard and protect her everywhere she goes so they'll catch her anytime she stumbles and keep her from falling. Show her if there is something she needs to address or change, and make it evident what she should do. Lord, show her how to fight, remind her what it looks like to put on the full armor of God, and teach her how to use that armor well! God, you are faithful, you're reliable, you're trustworthy, and you're ever true to your promise!! Show her that she can depend on you, that you are much stronger than anything that she has faced, is facing, or will ever face. Show her how to clothe herself with strength and dignity, how to laugh without fear of her future. Bring her into the victorious and joyful future that you desire for her.

Lord, Your word says, "Blessed is she who believed that He would fulfill His promises to her." So God, please bless her as she believes in you, in your word, in your promises for her future. I pray that you would give her what her heart desires and accomplish all her plans. Transform her barren places into a fertile Eden and make her extremely fruitful!

In Jesus' Mighty Name, Amen!

I is for "Infertility" the word

"Words kill, words give life. They're either poison or fruit- you choose." Proverbs 18:21

What are you confessing over your life, situation, family, and fertility? Are your words killing or giving life?? Are they poison or fruit??

Do you call yourself "infertile?" Do you say you are dealing with "infertility?" If so, how often? A lot of us have a stock answer ready for everyone who asks us when we want to have kids, why we don't have kids, Why there's not a sibling yet, etc. It's easy to say "I'm infertile" or "We're dealing with infertility." I want to challenge you to reconsider your vocabulary. Watch the video below for some tips and suggestions for how to change what you say! Feel free to skip ahead to about 2.5min to avoid intros, etc.

Continue saying "I am fruitful!"

Believe Despite: A Story of Hope, Loss, & Extreme Faith

I sat down the other day with an amazing woman, Elisa Rumbo, who bravely shared her story with me. She struggled through 15 years of infertility, PCOS, 9 miscarriages, the devastating loss of her infant daughter, and yet she believed despite. She believed that the Lord would make her a mother!

If you are struggling with infertility or loss, you HAVE to hear her story. Her perspective is so wise, unique, and encouraging. She will, without a doubt, re-ignite your faith, remind you who our God is, and provide that extra jolt of hope you need to make it through the next hurdle in your own journey.