It's our ministry's anniversary week, so I'm naturally reflective of this last year. There have been so many ups, and there have been a few downs. There have been days of crazy excitement as God has downloaded ideas, helped us process plans, laid foundations, and opened doors.
I remember the first donation. I remember vividly the first time I went live on Periscope- complete and utter terror. I remember all the friends who cheered me on and supported me... and continue to! I remember the first Instagram post and thinking, "Is anyone even going to see this?"
There were days I almost quit. There were so many of those days. Days where I was made aware of yet another miscarriage. Days where I let the sad stories get the best of me. Days where I didn't think I was doing a good job and didn't feel qualified. Days where I allowed others opinions to creep in and impact my spirit. Days where I didn't know how we were going to pay for things. I was terrified when we began this ministry. What if I said the wrong thing? What if I failed? What would happen to my heart?
But let me tell you... There were mostly days where I couldn't even wrap my mind around how blessed I am in this season of ministry. The excitement of starting something so impactful has been amazing. I experience so much joy every single time I get a message from one of you saying, "I haven't told anyone yet, but I'm pregnant and HAD to tell you!" I'm so humbled and honored when I'm told that this community has helped you through the most difficult time of your life and that you've grown in the midst of it because ofthe support you've received.
Most of the days this past year, my jaw was to my chest because I was in awe of the unexpected things God was doing- The healings, the miracles, the pregnancies, the restore marriages, the freedom! Jaw dropping stuff.
Occassionally I want to quit. It's hard work! This takes so much time and effort and resources... and a spirit that HAS to remain filled up!
But friends... I'm doing what I love and I absolutely LOVE what I do. I love this growing community. I love this area of the human heart, this overwhelming desire to become parents, and I love encouraging you in this season! What we thought would be simply "fueling up hope" in couples who are trying to conceive has turned into so much more.
Thank you for coming alongside us as we continue to seek the Lord on how to best support you! If the Lord is asking you to do something, if He's stirring your heart for someone... do what He's asking you! Will it be hard? Probably. Will you need help? Yes. Will you want to quit? Most likely. But if you do what He asks you to do in life, you end up getting the opportunity to do what you love and you will absolutely love what you do. That's the amazing thing about God. He can mold and change our hearts to fit his. He can shape our desires to match what He wants us to have. And it's always better than what we plan for ourselves.
Happy 1 Year Anniversary I Am Fruitful!! More celebrating to come!